St John was sent forth as a messenger from Jesus. Bearing that in mind, I think this song is about someone who is simply questioning their faith. For many years, they have believed & set their beliefs upon others, only to sit there one day and think "What the hell am I believing in? This is crazy!"
'This night is alive with the smell of insane
It's reaching for me and it's calling my name
I beg for silence to drown out their weep
How did this asylum become where I sleep?' -- An asylum is a inviolable refuge, a sanctuary...she's sought asylum in the church and is wondering how the heck she ever got there in the first place. Sitting there whilst the priest is talking, she probably wonders why she is sitting through the service, listening to the insanity.
'So ashamed of waking
All my life you failed to keep me safe
My whole world's forsaken
Won't let you destroy my faith again' - BUT, she feels ashamed of questioning it all. I'm sure some religious people have felt like this at least once, I know I have questioned my Christian faith at times. But then you feel dreadful, right? Yet still, you can't help it! She's ashamed of waking AKA ashamed of breaking out of the circle of christian belief, she's ashamed that the concept of not believing had ever entered her mind. She then worries that her whole life will be worth nothing if she does not believe, so she says to the devil that is tempting her to not believe "I won't let you destroy my belief in God again"
Notice how the lyrics say "mommy" - this shows how vulnerable she is, and also suggests that her parents had been the one who forced her to be so religious in the first place, never giving her a chance to choose to believe by herself. You find this happens a lot when kids have been flung into serious religious devotion from a young age, one day they suddenly question everything.
She then says how close she got to her grave...not literally, but how scared she got, thinking that because she had questioned her faith, she would not get the chance to be recieved in Heaven. But then she looks again and sees an 'instituion' - the church is just one big organisation of people being controlled by the words being said by the priest, yet she is still praying.
'orgive me
With wings adorn me
So I can fly' - She asks for forgiveness again though. She's really juggling this idea of faith and is not sure what to believe.
St John was sent forth as a messenger from Jesus. Bearing that in mind, I think this song is about someone who is simply questioning their faith. For many years, they have believed & set their beliefs upon others, only to sit there one day and think "What the hell am I believing in? This is crazy!"
'This night is alive with the smell of insane It's reaching for me and it's calling my name I beg for silence to drown out their weep How did this asylum become where I sleep?' -- An asylum is a inviolable refuge, a sanctuary...she's sought asylum in the church and is wondering how the heck she ever got there in the first place. Sitting there whilst the priest is talking, she probably wonders why she is sitting through the service, listening to the insanity.
'So ashamed of waking All my life you failed to keep me safe My whole world's forsaken Won't let you destroy my faith again' - BUT, she feels ashamed of questioning it all. I'm sure some religious people have felt like this at least once, I know I have questioned my Christian faith at times. But then you feel dreadful, right? Yet still, you can't help it! She's ashamed of waking AKA ashamed of breaking out of the circle of christian belief, she's ashamed that the concept of not believing had ever entered her mind. She then worries that her whole life will be worth nothing if she does not believe, so she says to the devil that is tempting her to not believe "I won't let you destroy my belief in God again"
Notice how the lyrics say "mommy" - this shows how vulnerable she is, and also suggests that her parents had been the one who forced her to be so religious in the first place, never giving her a chance to choose to believe by herself. You find this happens a lot when kids have been flung into serious religious devotion from a young age, one day they suddenly question everything.
She then says how close she got to her grave...not literally, but how scared she got, thinking that because she had questioned her faith, she would not get the chance to be recieved in Heaven. But then she looks again and sees an 'instituion' - the church is just one big organisation of people being controlled by the words being said by the priest, yet she is still praying.
'orgive me With wings adorn me So I can fly' - She asks for forgiveness again though. She's really juggling this idea of faith and is not sure what to believe.
@mexican_missez thanks a lot for your answer!
@mexican_missez thanks a lot for your answer!