Both as a standalone and as part of the DSOTS album, you can take this lyric as read. As a matter of public record, Jourgensen's drug intake was legendary even in the 1980s. By the late 90s, in his own words, he was grappling with massive addiction issues and had lost almost everything: friends, spouse, money and had nearly died more than once. "Dark Side of the Spoon" is a both funny & sad title for an album made by a musical genius who was losing the plot; and this song is a message to his fans & friends saying he knows it. It's painful to listen to so I'm glad the "Keith Richards of industrial metals" wised up and cleaned up. Well done sir.
Jingle Bells Batman smells, robin laid an egg,
the batmobile lost it's wheel....
AND THE JOKER FUCKED YOUR MOM
hey hey little girls and boys
whats on your list for this year?
teddy bears and lots of gifts
well too fucking bad you greedy little bitch!
Your getting razorblades
stalking of hand grenades
and in your sleep tonight
i'm gonna come on your face
Your not getting anything for christmas you fucking whore
the milk was sour and the cookies sucked
so thanks for nothing, you fucking cunt
your not getting anything for christmas you fucking whore
santa's pissed and he's takin names, and your first in line
(later we'll have some Fuckin pie, and we'll do some caroling)
put that cookie down
put that cookie down motherfucker.
(As we all know Christmas is that mystical time of year
When the ghost of jesus rises from the grave to feed on the flesh of the living)
santa's pissed and he's comin to town
he's takin names and he's throwin down.
Wicked witch of felling asleep you smell like your not going to like what your see,
Big brothers gonna shove it up your ass 1,000 oinks scratching at the field of dignity you
You'd always love meat, you'll see lets see what anti-gravity says, peachers says to get the
Fuck out of the way, that's when he looked for duke, spotsburg, he saw excitement, you like
That dancing, you like that prancing, add on dixon, you hate comet, you hate cupid, fucking
Donner and blitzen, what did? you expect, go harder, bitch you fucking donner go hug a fucking
Light switch, some? people never thought that coppers would run out, go hold your breath and
Send Santa back to the slut house.
5 - severed heads in a box
4 - bitches on his cock
3 - beds of nails
2 - bullets
1 - gun
Broken candycanes
stalking of coal and bad grades
you better watch out
(bend ya ova, ima lube ya up, gonna stick that tree right up yo' ass)
Your not getting anything for christmas you fucking whore
the milk was sour and the cookies sucked
so thanks for nothing, you fucking cunt
your not getting anything for christmas you fucking whore
santa's pissed and he's takin names, and your first in line
the batmobile lost it's wheel....
AND THE JOKER FUCKED YOUR MOM
hey hey little girls and boys
whats on your list for this year?
teddy bears and lots of gifts
well too fucking bad you greedy little bitch!
Your getting razorblades
stalking of hand grenades
and in your sleep tonight
i'm gonna come on your face
Your not getting anything for christmas you fucking whore
the milk was sour and the cookies sucked
so thanks for nothing, you fucking cunt
your not getting anything for christmas you fucking whore
santa's pissed and he's takin names, and your first in line
(later we'll have some Fuckin pie, and we'll do some caroling)
put that cookie down
put that cookie down motherfucker.
(As we all know Christmas is that mystical time of year
When the ghost of jesus rises from the grave to feed on the flesh of the living)
santa's pissed and he's comin to town
he's takin names and he's throwin down.
Wicked witch of felling asleep you smell like your not going to like what your see,
Big brothers gonna shove it up your ass 1,000 oinks scratching at the field of dignity you
You'd always love meat, you'll see lets see what anti-gravity says, peachers says to get the
Fuck out of the way, that's when he looked for duke, spotsburg, he saw excitement, you like
That dancing, you like that prancing, add on dixon, you hate comet, you hate cupid, fucking
Donner and blitzen, what did? you expect, go harder, bitch you fucking donner go hug a fucking
Light switch, some? people never thought that coppers would run out, go hold your breath and
Send Santa back to the slut house.
5 - severed heads in a box
4 - bitches on his cock
3 - beds of nails
2 - bullets
1 - gun
Broken candycanes
stalking of coal and bad grades
you better watch out
(bend ya ova, ima lube ya up, gonna stick that tree right up yo' ass)
Your not getting anything for christmas you fucking whore
the milk was sour and the cookies sucked
so thanks for nothing, you fucking cunt
your not getting anything for christmas you fucking whore
santa's pissed and he's takin names, and your first in line
Lyrics submitted by designer-jeans, edited by NocturnalCorp
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Same ideas expressed in Fitter, Happier are expressed in this song. We're told to strive for some sort of ideal life, which includes getting a good job, being kind to everyone, finding a partner, getting married, having a couple kids, living in a quiet neighborhood in a nice big house, etc. But in Fitter, Happier the narrator(?) realizes that it's incredibly robotic to live this life. People are being used by those in power "like a pig in a cage on antibiotics"--being pacified with things like new phones and cool gadgets and houses while being sucked dry. On No Surprises, the narrator is realizing how this life is killing him slowly. In the video, his helmet is slowly filling up with water, drowning him. But he's so complacent with it. This is a good summary of the song. This boring, "perfect" life foisted upon us by some higher powers (not spiritual, but political, economic, etc. politicians and businessmen, perhaps) is not the way to live. But there is seemingly no way out but death. He'd rather die peacefully right now than live in this cage. While our lives are often shielded, we're in our own protective bubbles, or protective helmets like the one Thom wears, if we look a little harder we can see all the corruption, lies, manipulation, etc. that is going on in the world, often run by huge yet nearly invisible organizations, corporations, and 'leaders'. It's a very hopeless song because it reflects real life.
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Ahhh I love this song! The lyrics are so outrages and hilarious. You can listen to it here... youtube.com/watch