Belated Promise Ring

I think jazzy has it down pretty much exactly, but i would like to point out a few other things I noticed.

(and yes, I do agree this is about a girlfriend, not a child at all. the lyrics just don't support it)

I agree that he is in love with a strong will, independent, "free spirit" type of person. but I also think the beauty of the song is that he is portraying himself as "in love" but it's a passionless "idea" of love, that isn't going anywhere.

"I once gave to my Rebecca a belated promise ring"

Why is the ring "belated"? He makes it sound like an afterthought - he's loved her and only now given her the ring? She knows he is not really the one for her, because although he thinks he loves her, she can see the truth of the matter so....

"And she sold it to the waitress on a train"

It doesn't mean that much to her, and he doesn't seem completely upset about it. Not because he is too in love with her to look past her faults, but he only -believes- himself to be in love with her.

"I may find her by the phone but with a fashion magazine She may kiss me when her girlfriends leave again They say, "Time may give you more than your poor bones could ever take" I think I could never love another girl To be free atop a tree stump and to look the other way While she shines my mother's imitation pearls"

The whole feeling of this stanza is uncertainty. he "may" find her, she "may kiss" him when she is finished with other things, but he is clearly not a priority in her life, and he only -THINKS- he could "never love another girl". The mention of the imitation pearls bring another visual of something beautiful but completely fake and valueless.

So in conclusion, I think it has a sort of dreamy, airy quality about it (as many of his songs do) and I get this thread running through the song of a sort of lazy romance...he "loves" her, but without any passion or intensity, it's just this attraction that he can't help, while the very same free spirit and intelligence that he admires in Rebecca is what turns her off to him. It may be a general misunderstanding of women in general ("they both [the women, Rebecca and his mother] call to me with words I never knew")

They are both in a relationship, but it has no future and both of them know it won't last, so they are focused on enjoying the present and acknowledge that nothing will come of it.

I looooove this song. I'm addicted, I think.

I took it to be pretty open-and-close, apart from the metaphors that are probably over my head :-)

My take on it is that this song is written from a guy's perspective. He's in love with a girl named Rebecca, and though there are flaws and faults, even things that might break them up years from now, he ignores them Because he's so lovestruck, her flaws don't even register with him: "And my mother says Rebecca is as stubborn as they come They both call to me with words I never knew" From a different standpoint (his mother's perspective), Rebecca is very, very stubborn, yet he hadn't noticed on his own because of his infatuation with the girl.

He wants a boy when he has kids, but Rebecca doesn't. This issue is never resolved in the song, illustrating how nearsighted the narrator is being about this relationship. He's pretty much all set to be married, but Rebecca's still got some wild oats to sow: "I once gave to my Rebecca a belated promise ring and she sold it to the waitress on a train". He's more committed than she is, and frankly, she doesn't care and won't be rushed. And fool-in-love that he is, he'll wait patiently.

"They say, "Time may give you more than your poor bones could ever take" In response to his situation (being in love with this independent, strong-willed girl) the narrator is told that life always throws more at you than you're really built to handle. He is gentle and attentive, while Rebecca is blunt and strong-willed. I took this statement to have a positive connotation: if life is the reason he’s in love with her, it feels like “they” are saying his fate is sealed, and he is destined (or doomed) to be with her.

@ the people who say "my Rebecca" means that he's probably her father, I disagree. I think he just calls her that as an affectionate term. The best example that comes to mind is (don't judge me) from Everybody Loves Raymond. When a married guy finds out that his ex-girlfriend was being set up for a date, he said, "you can't do that." When asked why not, he answered, "because she's my Stefania". So it isn't only fathers who use that term. it's like sweetheart or something like that-generally neutral in defining a relationship. In the context of this song, I'd say that they're romantically involved, because

1. He gave her a promise ring. I've never heard of a girl getting one from her father.
2. The fact that they're sleeping in together (thanks to unkleknowpockets for pointing that out).
3. The lines, "she may kiss me when her girlfriends leave again" (Because girlfriends and boyfriends are typically the ones in competition for a girl's attention, not fathers.)
4. He could never love another girl. What is the significance of this line? No one else could take her place. Who would be her competition? Another daughter? I doubt he means to imply that, upon having another child, he won't love his second born, simply because he's so very taken with the first. And I doubt that his adoration for his daughter would stop him from falling in love with a woman. That's just creepy.
5. (Here's the kicker): "Saw the statues of our /fathers/ in the courthouse flower bed" Yeah... So, as far as I can see, this is just a young man in love with a girl named Rebecca.

Reading into their relationship, specifically its future, I don't see it lasting, or at least being happy. He won't remain blind forever, and already we can see that they don't want the same things, in this case, the gender of their child (of course, once the kid is born, that's that, am I right?). He's willing to give her promise rings, while she blatantly sells them. She'd rather have money than a token of his affection, showing that things are unbalanced between them. And the same goes for her only kissing him when no one is around. I think that's self-explanatory.

So, this is a song about a young man head-over-heels for a girl who doesn't feel as strongly for him, and has the ability to chew him up and spit him out. What a bittersweet sentiment. :-)

I don't think that Rebecca is a bitch. I think he's focusing on how wild and and free spirited she is and even though some of the things she does could be negative to someone else he loves her all the more for it. Sometimes that's what love is about. You wind up loving the most ridiculous little things because they are unique to that person... i dono

DownIsTheNewUp is correct. The song describes mature love, because it's not a projection about what he imagines her to but, but a gentle, loving description of how she really is.

A thimble protects your thumb when sewing but she's used it to catch a bug and now has a bandaid on her thumb. She stands out barefoot in the cold, but then complains about the door being left open. She shines imitation pearls, which are "worthless," but sells off a "valuable" promise ring. She seems forgetful, flighty, indifferent to convention. And he wouldn't love her any other way.

no comments? that's a shame. this is probably my favorite iron and wine song too. it just seems to be at least that it's about liking a girl even though she's bitch. but i don't know. that's just what i think.

great song!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love sam beam, he's absolutely brilliant.

I think this song is about a girl who really doesnt know what she wants out of life and just wants to be free like a bird. She likes to come and go as she chooses, so she never promises anything, but always knows the boy will be there for her when she would like. Loved the name of the title so gave it a try, and it happens to fit my life..) My name happens to be the same as herz as well!

It's so very clearly about the need of all humans to be resafronated with nebulous lugubrious want ads which decraminfy blurmishly.

I often think of Barnegat Blummis at these moments when the sonorities of sororities saponify soapily. My tsitsis unravel at the thought of the bones which are being too much for.

I hope this helps.

To me it sounds like he's singing about a relationship, but starting as a kid and ending up as an adult. i would say he starts when he is a teenager. sounds like the kind of infatuation you have in your younger years. thats why he has all the child like metaphors "There's a bug inside the thimble, there's a band-aid on her thumb", "To be barefoot on the driveway as they wave and ride away Then to run inside and curse the open door", "To be free atop a tree stump and to look the other way". it would seem the belated promise ring is another metaphor for the whole story. From what i can see, he cared for her more than she cared for him at the time, which i presume was them still as children. therefore he gave her the ring as to say "one day". I think the whole 3rd verse has to do with her being a free spirit and doing her own thing. the last verse seems like the whole story comes full circle, it seems to me that this line "Sunday evening my Rebecca's lost a book she never read, And the moon already fell into the sea" means that there was a path she didnt follow and its too late now to do it. then the next line about the statues and the trees, seems the statues of the fathers is like him saying this has all been done before. and the trees blending in seems to mean that even though she wanted to be free and different, both of them now just blend in with the rest of society. the last couple of lines im not too sure about about the balloon and earning more. it could mean the story has come full circle with their kid and will probably repeat itself. or that he now knows that whatever happens she cares about him enough to so something about it, so in essence the "balloon" is like a problem and she will "earn more" or do something about it if anything happens. well that is just my take lemme know what you think.