The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
I play as fast as I can - I'm the Gingerbread Man
With a fast hand - won't ya kick me outta your band
I only play for me - I'm the king of Unity
I'm a team of one - a defective hired gun
I play like a ham, well that makes me Spam
And then I wonder why nobody ever wants to jam
'Cause ya feel like a pawn in a volume war
And I'm the only one who bothers keeping score
Because I got no feel - I got no emotion
My riffs aren't real - I just go through the motions
I'm fulla tricks and trinkets that I always use
I ain't got much choice - I can't play the blues
And just in case I'm in a finger race
I keep it up and I keep pretending that I win the chase
But if ya play faster than the speed of light (according to Einstein)
Ya go back in time - and end up in the 80's
With our big hair
Jackets with fringes
Stretch pants
Mascara
Choreographed kicking
You got a big laugh outta 70's disco
But you became the same by a different name
Ya forgot to change your calendar 10 years in a row
Now ya can't find the pace of the new game
I play it like a ham, yeah with lots of spice
I'm the Son Of Spam in a block of ice
Yeah, I can't lay back - I get all confused
And if I slow it down you'll see the riffs I already used
Because I got no feel - I got no emotion
My riffs aren't real - I just go through the motions
I'm fulla tricks and trinkets that I always use
I ain't got much choice - I can't play the blues
Yeah I actually believe that if I wail up and down a scale
Then the world is gonna get up on their feet and yell...
"Hail Ronald! Hail Ronald!
Take your big head and go to Hail, Ronald!"
Yeah, I can't lay back - I get all confused
And if I slow it down you'll see the riffs I already used
I play like a ham, well that makes me Spam
And then I wonder why nobody ever wants to jam
Because I got no feel - I got no emotion
My riffs aren't real - I just go through the motions
I'm fulla tricks and trinkets that I always use
I ain't got much choice - I can't play the blues
With a fast hand - won't ya kick me outta your band
I only play for me - I'm the king of Unity
I'm a team of one - a defective hired gun
I play like a ham, well that makes me Spam
And then I wonder why nobody ever wants to jam
'Cause ya feel like a pawn in a volume war
And I'm the only one who bothers keeping score
Because I got no feel - I got no emotion
My riffs aren't real - I just go through the motions
I'm fulla tricks and trinkets that I always use
I ain't got much choice - I can't play the blues
And just in case I'm in a finger race
I keep it up and I keep pretending that I win the chase
But if ya play faster than the speed of light (according to Einstein)
Ya go back in time - and end up in the 80's
With our big hair
Jackets with fringes
Stretch pants
Mascara
Choreographed kicking
You got a big laugh outta 70's disco
But you became the same by a different name
Ya forgot to change your calendar 10 years in a row
Now ya can't find the pace of the new game
I play it like a ham, yeah with lots of spice
I'm the Son Of Spam in a block of ice
Yeah, I can't lay back - I get all confused
And if I slow it down you'll see the riffs I already used
Because I got no feel - I got no emotion
My riffs aren't real - I just go through the motions
I'm fulla tricks and trinkets that I always use
I ain't got much choice - I can't play the blues
Yeah I actually believe that if I wail up and down a scale
Then the world is gonna get up on their feet and yell...
"Hail Ronald! Hail Ronald!
Take your big head and go to Hail, Ronald!"
Yeah, I can't lay back - I get all confused
And if I slow it down you'll see the riffs I already used
I play like a ham, well that makes me Spam
And then I wonder why nobody ever wants to jam
Because I got no feel - I got no emotion
My riffs aren't real - I just go through the motions
I'm fulla tricks and trinkets that I always use
I ain't got much choice - I can't play the blues
Lyrics submitted by Elimination
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