I think much like another song “Anti-Matter” (that's also on the same album as this song), this one is also is inspired by a horrifying van crash the band experienced on Nov 3, 2022. This, much like the other track, sounds like it's an extension what they shared while huddled in the wreckage, as they helped frontman Garrett Russell stem the bleeding from his head wound while he was under the temporary effects of a concussion. The track speaks of where the mind goes at the most desperate & desolate of times, when it just about slips away to all but disconnect itself, and the aftermath.
I wish to feel smaller under your sheets
I wish for the whole truth every time you speak
And I'm thinking 'bout how you care half as much for me
As I watch you arise, smoke cigarettes, sleep
And I guess it doesn't matter what I say or what I seem
You stuck what I felt for you in the pocket of your jeans
Ignoring me the morning after isn't enough
And I swear I'm gonna cry, I'm sick of trying to be tough
And my blood won't stick to the confines of my veins
And your heart is gonna tear mine away
And I wish to feel smaller under your hands
Though you seem satisfied as you slip mine down your pants
And I'm thinking 'bout how you care half as much for me
As you lift up my shirt after asking politely
And I guess it doesn't matter what I am or pretend to be
'Cause it's her you'll always love
And it's her I'll always envy
Wanna end this now so dreams of you won't keep me up
And I swear I'm gonna cry, I'm sick of trying to be tough
And my blood won't stick to the confines of my veins
And your heart is gonna tear mine away
And it's hard to find what I want
When it's buried beneath the biggest rock
I could pay lots of money to help lift it with machines
But I'm not sure you'd cooperate, not sure you'd come clean
And I wish to feel smaller under your sheets
I wish for the whole truth every time you speak
And I'm thinking 'bout how you care half as much for me
As I watch you arise, smoke cigarettes, sleep
And I guess it doesn't matter what I say or what I seem
You stuck what I felt for you in the pocket of your jeans
Ignoring me the morning after isn't enough
And I swear I'm gonna cry, I'm sick of trying to be tough
Yeah, I swear I'm gonna cry, I'm sick of trying to be tough
And my blood won't stick to the confines of my veins
And your heart is gonna tear mine away
Is gonna tear mine away
I wish for the whole truth every time you speak
And I'm thinking 'bout how you care half as much for me
As I watch you arise, smoke cigarettes, sleep
And I guess it doesn't matter what I say or what I seem
You stuck what I felt for you in the pocket of your jeans
Ignoring me the morning after isn't enough
And I swear I'm gonna cry, I'm sick of trying to be tough
And my blood won't stick to the confines of my veins
And your heart is gonna tear mine away
And I wish to feel smaller under your hands
Though you seem satisfied as you slip mine down your pants
And I'm thinking 'bout how you care half as much for me
As you lift up my shirt after asking politely
And I guess it doesn't matter what I am or pretend to be
'Cause it's her you'll always love
And it's her I'll always envy
Wanna end this now so dreams of you won't keep me up
And I swear I'm gonna cry, I'm sick of trying to be tough
And my blood won't stick to the confines of my veins
And your heart is gonna tear mine away
And it's hard to find what I want
When it's buried beneath the biggest rock
I could pay lots of money to help lift it with machines
But I'm not sure you'd cooperate, not sure you'd come clean
And I wish to feel smaller under your sheets
I wish for the whole truth every time you speak
And I'm thinking 'bout how you care half as much for me
As I watch you arise, smoke cigarettes, sleep
And I guess it doesn't matter what I say or what I seem
You stuck what I felt for you in the pocket of your jeans
Ignoring me the morning after isn't enough
And I swear I'm gonna cry, I'm sick of trying to be tough
Yeah, I swear I'm gonna cry, I'm sick of trying to be tough
And my blood won't stick to the confines of my veins
And your heart is gonna tear mine away
Is gonna tear mine away
Lyrics submitted by catnamedzane, edited by Stockholm
A Wish Lyrics as written by Meredith Marie Godreau
Lyrics © Songtrust Ave, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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This is THE prettiest song in the entire world. :]
"And I guess it doesn't matter what I am or pretend to be Cuz it's her you'll always love and it's her I'll always envy."
I can relate to this song so much. I know exactly how she feels, and this song helps me feel a bit better knowing someone else goes through it too.
I have been in this kind of relationship before and this song is absolutely perfect at capturing how I felt.
The guy is using her and she knows it but she's still with him because she loves him.
Guys are assholes sometimes.
It's interesting that most Gregory and the Hawk songs are about this unrequited love or a one sided relationship. The way she sounds when she sings "And your heart Is gonna tear mine away." In the beginning and kind of sighs after? It's amazing. You can alomst feel the door slamming as he slips out and she's left there.
"You stuck what I felt for you in the pocket of your jeans."
That's my favorite line in the whole song.
"cause it's her you'll always love and it's her i'll always envy" best freaking song line everrr!
oh my god, this is exactly how i've been feeling all along. i know so many people can relate to these songs but this is a spot on retelling of what i've been going through. basically i've been in love with this guy for two years and he's done everything to convince me otherwise but for some reason i'm always going to feel vulnerable to him. he has a girlfriend and he's told me he loves her, but for some reason we always end up back together on those long, late nights. as horrible as it sounds and i feel, i just can't seem to let go. after all, we were together first. i keep saying i'm okay with what we have, but it gets harder every day knowing that i mean half as much to him as he means to me. i keep wishing he'll choose me over her for more than just sex, but i don't know how long i can keep waiting.
When I first heard the song, it reminded me of that great show, My So-Called Life. It made me, like, think of Angela and Jordan Catalano's like, relationship thing or whatever, you know? ;)
Anyway, I didn't know exactly what she was singing at one point so if you know what "What I have, this mass of dreams of you won't keep me up" is really supposed to be, let me know and I'll change it. I couldn't make it out.
her voice is amazing.
i think its just helpless motions we all run thru at one point in life.
This female has an amazing voice. I especially like the emotion she puts at
"Yeah, I swear I'm gonna cry, I'm sick of trying to be tough."
It's obviously talking about an unrequited love where the male in the relationship is only staying with the girl for sex. Poor thing still loves him anyway.