This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
They say only the good die young, and with that said
It don't get no better then me, its coming from my head
I represented for y'all when I came through the market
Bout to come in who I am, I became a target
And what hurts is all the bullshit coming from my own kind
They say Jin's fake, he don't keep it real in his rythems
He make us look soft, that kid ain't commit no crimes
YOU GOT DAMN RIGHT, want me to say it then fine
I ain't a killa, I ain't a gangsta, and I ain't no thug
I don't walk around with guns and I don't sell drugs
I'm not a murderer, I ain't never said I was, so what the fuck ya hating on me for huh
[HOOK]
See I don't want to hold a grudge so I cruise fast in my Cadillac
My momma would be so disgusted if she knew the way these grown folks stack
See I won't let them cram my style no and I won't let them hold me down no
Tell her that I'm ok tell her that imma make a way somehow
AY Yo Jin! You Double are bust guns
I ain't about that shit
Trouble just comes my way, I don't invite that shit
I got a career here, I ain't looking for fights to pick
Got more pain in my heart that I knew can exist
Like that night, they pull the guns out and bang my man
I was like fuck rap, I almost had a change of plans
He took a bullet for me, how I'm gonna repay that man
What if he woulda die, what I'm soppose to say to his fam
The life I chose endanger all my family and friends
Some shit I wish I could change but yet promise I can't
People are killed to get to the position I'm at
Only to die and heard to find out it ain't worth that
Still wanna rap?
[HOOK]
See I don't want to hold a grudge so I cruise fast in my Cadillac
My momma would be so disgusted if she knew the way these grown folks stack
See I won't let them cram my style no and I won't let them hold me down no
Tell her that I'm ok tell her that imma make a way somehow
(thats how they getting down)
Two turn table and a rapper that was that was
(that was how they did it then, this how they do it now)
20 young mans with there gats up
Gotta travel like that or they'll try to attack us
(that how they getting down)
The great settle their beef with rap battles lets go
(that was how they did it then, this is how they do it now)
If they ain't better then you, now they shooting at you
Know it sound tragic but hey you know
(that how they getting down)
So what I'm soppose to do? keep 20 bodyguards
And a large entourage, cause everybody's hard
Sometimes I wonder what happen to love and respect
All I see now is haterd and death
[HOOK]
See I don't want to hold a grudge so I cruise fast in my Cadillac
My momma would be so disgusted if she knew the way these grown folks stack
See I won't let them cram my style no and I won't let them hold me down no
Tell her that I'm ok tell her that imma make a way somehow
It don't get no better then me, its coming from my head
I represented for y'all when I came through the market
Bout to come in who I am, I became a target
And what hurts is all the bullshit coming from my own kind
They say Jin's fake, he don't keep it real in his rythems
He make us look soft, that kid ain't commit no crimes
YOU GOT DAMN RIGHT, want me to say it then fine
I ain't a killa, I ain't a gangsta, and I ain't no thug
I don't walk around with guns and I don't sell drugs
I'm not a murderer, I ain't never said I was, so what the fuck ya hating on me for huh
[HOOK]
See I don't want to hold a grudge so I cruise fast in my Cadillac
My momma would be so disgusted if she knew the way these grown folks stack
See I won't let them cram my style no and I won't let them hold me down no
Tell her that I'm ok tell her that imma make a way somehow
AY Yo Jin! You Double are bust guns
I ain't about that shit
Trouble just comes my way, I don't invite that shit
I got a career here, I ain't looking for fights to pick
Got more pain in my heart that I knew can exist
Like that night, they pull the guns out and bang my man
I was like fuck rap, I almost had a change of plans
He took a bullet for me, how I'm gonna repay that man
What if he woulda die, what I'm soppose to say to his fam
The life I chose endanger all my family and friends
Some shit I wish I could change but yet promise I can't
People are killed to get to the position I'm at
Only to die and heard to find out it ain't worth that
Still wanna rap?
[HOOK]
See I don't want to hold a grudge so I cruise fast in my Cadillac
My momma would be so disgusted if she knew the way these grown folks stack
See I won't let them cram my style no and I won't let them hold me down no
Tell her that I'm ok tell her that imma make a way somehow
(thats how they getting down)
Two turn table and a rapper that was that was
(that was how they did it then, this how they do it now)
20 young mans with there gats up
Gotta travel like that or they'll try to attack us
(that how they getting down)
The great settle their beef with rap battles lets go
(that was how they did it then, this is how they do it now)
If they ain't better then you, now they shooting at you
Know it sound tragic but hey you know
(that how they getting down)
So what I'm soppose to do? keep 20 bodyguards
And a large entourage, cause everybody's hard
Sometimes I wonder what happen to love and respect
All I see now is haterd and death
[HOOK]
See I don't want to hold a grudge so I cruise fast in my Cadillac
My momma would be so disgusted if she knew the way these grown folks stack
See I won't let them cram my style no and I won't let them hold me down no
Tell her that I'm ok tell her that imma make a way somehow
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