Missing The War

This is one of Ben's most beautiful works. I'm not really convinced by any of the previous interpretations.

I believe "war" is a metaphor for dating or being single. Ben is missing the war by being in this marriage (or extended relationship). I think married life is too quiet for him. He craves being "free" again. This marriage possibly prevents him from pursuing some dream of his ("dreams may die"). He is not happy with being cooped up, yet he is too loyal and caring to give up on his marriage ("The shaking voice that tells him go/Still thinks he might/He knows he won't"). His loved one doesn't even know he is unhappy ("She doesn't know he wasn't meant for this"). The guy thinks about the "world outside" every night until "beads of sunlight hit me in the morning."

This song is so great because it is about conflicting emotions, which is very typical of Ben's music, but which is also what makes his songs so brilliant: we all as humans constantly feel conflicting emotions, and life is about dealing with those feelings. In this song, though Ben yearns to be out in the world again, he doesn't have the courage to break away from the stability of his current marital life.

HHealy is right, there is never a line in the song that says she doesn't like a baby.

Ben Folds is a fucking genius

I think that this song, which is a great song, is about either a man getting drunk, and in fights all the time, or a man getting drunk, coming home, and beating his wife. That was just my first impression upon reading the actual lyrics.

the fucking girl treats him like shit.

I think that this is about "missing the war" at home. Perhaps a teenager coming home in the morning and seeing the after-effects of his drunken father who gets into fights (pissed and beaten) and beating his mother. This domestic violence happens a lot (happens all the time, it's no big deal), and the teenager tries to avoid "the war" and by not being home, he is "missing the war all night", and facing it in the morning. I don't know either... it's just my 2 cents...

ATTENTION: TAKE OUT THE LINE AFTER "SHE'S SLEEPIN LIKE A BABY" please. the line after it is "She doesn't know he wasnt' meant for this" I promise! :)

Amateurboy, I know your post was written almost two years ago, but it's bang-on to what I was going to write just now. Heh...good job.

The song is about a guy who is stuck in what appears to be a purely physical relationship ("clothes all strewn around the bedroom floor") that has long since become suffocating for him.

He can't sleep and he's full of self-disgust for his inability to end the relationship like he wants to ("He drove home again pissed and beaten") out of fear of hurting her. ("She's sleepin' like a baby, she doesn't know he wasn't meant for this.")

"I'm missing the war, all my life" and "So much time, so little to say...time may fly, dreams may die" are all further proof that he's stagnating in a relationship and a lifestyle that makes him restless, regretful about the things he could have/should have done, and miserable that he doesn't have the strength to end it now ("The shaking voice that tells him go still thinks he might, but he knows he wont...").

While he "war" could be about a girl, I think it was the period in his life when he was more alive and fought for everything.

Now he's got no fight left in him.

I think that the jotted figures could be taxes or bills to pay. He drive home pissed and beaten because he doesn't like his job. And though his partner is perfectly content with the life that they're living, he wonders when it was that he surrendered to this lifestyle.

I think that all of you simply have not watched enough Rambo: First Blood... but Im sure Ben has... Toward the end of the movie, Sly has a biit of a monologue... it goes like this... Colonel Trautman: It's over Johnny. It's over! Rambo: Nothing is over! Nothing! You just don't turn it off! It wasn't my war! You asked me I didn't ask you! And I did what I had to do to win, but somebody wouldn't let us win! Then I come back to the world, and I see all those maggots at the airport, protestin' me, spittin', callin' me a baby killer and all kinds of vile crap! Who are they to protest me?! Huh?! Who are they?! Unless they been me and been there and know what the hell they yellin' about! Colonel Trautman: It was a bad time for everyone Rambo. It's all in the past now. Rambo: For you! For me civilian life is nothin'! In the field we had a code of honor. You watch my back I watch yours. Back here there's nothin'! Col. Trautman: You're the last of an elite group. Don't end it like this. Rambo: Back there I could fly a gunship, I could drive a tank, I was in charge of million dollar equipment. Back here I can't even hold a job PARKING CARS!!!! UUHHHH!!!!! Wha...I can't...oh, I jus--omigod. Where is everybody? Oh God...I...I had a friend, who was Danforth. Wha--I had all these guys man. Back there I had all these fucking guys. Who were my friends. Cause back here there's nothin'. Remember Danforth? He wore this black head band and I took one of those magic markers and I said to Feron, 'Hey mail us to Las Vegas cause we were always talkin' about Vegas, and this fucking car. This uh red '58 Chevy convertible, he was talkin' about this car, he said we were gonna cruise till the tires fall off. We were in this bar in Saigon. And this kid comes up, this kid carryin' a shoe shine box, and eh he says uh 'shine please, shine.' I said no, eh an' uh, he kept askin' yeah and Joey said 'yeah,' and I went to get a couple beers and the ki--the box was wired, and he opened up the box, fuckin' blew his body all over the place. And he's layin' there and he's fuckin' screamin', there's pieces of him all over me, jus like--! like this. And I'm tryin' to pull em off you know? And ehe.. MY FRIEND IT'S ALL OVER ME! IT'S GOT BLOOD AND EVERYTHING! And I'm tryin' to hold him together I put him together his fucking insides keep coming out, AND NOBODY WOULD HELP!! Nobody help me. He sayin' plea I wanna go home I wanna go home. He keeps callin' my name, I wanna go home Johnny, I wanna drive my Chevy. I said well WHY I can't find your fucking legs. I can't find you legs. I can't get it out of my head. I fuc..I dream of seven years. Everyday I have this. And sometimes I wake up and I dunno where I am. I don't talk to anybody. Sometimes a day--a week. I can't put it out of my mind...fucking...I can't.....

Now, if you think I am serious about that, you are gravely mistaken, i was just tryin to have a little fun... but it is a different way to look at it, in a more literal sense... the code of honor part is interesting haha.

Peace Kids,

Timmah