The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything

Arrrr, arrrr, arrrr…
Chorus:
We are the pirates, who don't do anything
We just stay at home, and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you, we don't do anything
Well, I've never been to Greenland
and I've never been to Denver,
and I've never buried treasure
in St. Louis or St. Paul,
and I've never been to Moscow,
and I've never been to Tampa,
and I've never been to Boston in the fall.
(chorus)
And I never hoist the mainstay
and I never swab the poop deck
and I never veer to starboard
'cuz I never sail at all,
and I've never walked the gang plank
and I've never owned a parrot
and I've never been to Boston in the fall.
(chorus)
[Country hick-style voice]
Well I've never plucked a rooster and I'm not too got at ping pong
and I've never thrown my mashed pa-taters up against the wall,
and I've never kissed a chipmunk
and I've never gotten head lice
and I've never been to Boston in the fall.
[Pirate voice]
Pirate Captain Vluh 2002
Who be this band Relient K?
And why be they so full of controversy?
[Chanting]
We don't know what he did, but we're down with Captain Kidd
We don't wake up late for lunch, but we all eat Captian Crunch
We don't smoke, we don't chew, but we watch Captain Kangaroo
And I've never licked a spark plug,
and I've never sniffed a stink bug,
and I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball,
and I've never bathed in yogurt
and I don't look good in leggings…
and I've never been to Boston in the fall!
Ladies and Gentlemen, let's give 'em a big hand!
(chorus) x2