The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
"Hey there, do you like excitement?" (Yeah)
"Do you like suspense?" (Uh huh)
"Do you like Nel Carter?" (No)
"Good 'cause you won't find her here, this is the house of horrors
And for you it's absolutely free, step right in" (thanks)
"Say no more stupid ass, your face says enough"
Woboogawoo wah, welcome to the House of Horrors
Were you born in a barn, shut the fuckin door
You see, damn, 'cause I'm about to scare you
Blubablubabluba, okay, now I dare you
Close your eyes, open up your mouth, and count to ten
Don't want to, huh, 'cause you know my nuts are going in
I'm twisted, I'll cut your finger off, and stick in your butt
Awa and glue it shut
This is when I get crazy, lemme show you something
Brrr, you know what that means, it don't mean nothin, haha
But it scared you 'cause people don't be doing that shit
But me brr, bitch brr, I'm all about it (brrr)
Guess what I'm a serial killer, it's a bad habit
I killed Tony, Lucky Charms, the silly rabbit, uh
Cut the lights, see that shit, I'm glowing
Alright, I'm done, turn 'em back, wait, where you going?
Welcome to the house of horrors
Comes from within me
Comes from within me, horrors, eh
"Honey, I'm not having a good time"
"I know, come on, this must be the way out"
Hey, what the fuck, come here guys, grab a chair
Don't mind me drinkin' my beer in my underwear
Come on, let's play some cardback, I just gotta story
"Hey keep it down in there Shaggs, what the hell?" Sorry
Look at that shit, "what?", You almost got me grounded
I'm a have to take your forehead and pound it
I'll bend you over and tie you up to a pole
And stretch your nuts back and fling 'em up your butthole
I'm a phantom, listen to me, ah
That didn't do it? How about this? Ah
I'm so scary, they call me Joey Terrifying
Did you know that? "Yeah", no you didn't I was lying
"I represent Ecorse
I'm yelling Ink Town
I'm coming out of Southwest
Wicked clowns"
Bathroom? Yeah, it's right there down the hall
Don't flush it though, I'll make dinner for you all
(Mumbles) I'm possessed too
Wait a minute, eh, don't leave me yet, hey
Welcome to the House of Horrors
"Honey?"
"What?"
"I'm scared"
"I know, sweety, come on"
Jump Steady, Nate the Mack, lemme tell you something
With Billy Bill and Rude Boy, what about 'em, nothing
They're my boys, I just had to give 'em props
And together we form the cyclops
Hahahahaha look at you, haha, you're a bitch
Should I let your ass go? Hahahaha, no
I'll let your bitch out, but you get the bone
Run along sugar tits, he ain't coming home
"Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you, bitch"
"Do you like suspense?" (Uh huh)
"Do you like Nel Carter?" (No)
"Good 'cause you won't find her here, this is the house of horrors
And for you it's absolutely free, step right in" (thanks)
"Say no more stupid ass, your face says enough"
Woboogawoo wah, welcome to the House of Horrors
Were you born in a barn, shut the fuckin door
You see, damn, 'cause I'm about to scare you
Blubablubabluba, okay, now I dare you
Close your eyes, open up your mouth, and count to ten
Don't want to, huh, 'cause you know my nuts are going in
I'm twisted, I'll cut your finger off, and stick in your butt
Awa and glue it shut
This is when I get crazy, lemme show you something
Brrr, you know what that means, it don't mean nothin, haha
But it scared you 'cause people don't be doing that shit
But me brr, bitch brr, I'm all about it (brrr)
Guess what I'm a serial killer, it's a bad habit
I killed Tony, Lucky Charms, the silly rabbit, uh
Cut the lights, see that shit, I'm glowing
Alright, I'm done, turn 'em back, wait, where you going?
Welcome to the house of horrors
Comes from within me
Comes from within me, horrors, eh
"Honey, I'm not having a good time"
"I know, come on, this must be the way out"
Hey, what the fuck, come here guys, grab a chair
Don't mind me drinkin' my beer in my underwear
Come on, let's play some cardback, I just gotta story
"Hey keep it down in there Shaggs, what the hell?" Sorry
Look at that shit, "what?", You almost got me grounded
I'm a have to take your forehead and pound it
I'll bend you over and tie you up to a pole
And stretch your nuts back and fling 'em up your butthole
I'm a phantom, listen to me, ah
That didn't do it? How about this? Ah
I'm so scary, they call me Joey Terrifying
Did you know that? "Yeah", no you didn't I was lying
"I represent Ecorse
I'm yelling Ink Town
I'm coming out of Southwest
Wicked clowns"
Bathroom? Yeah, it's right there down the hall
Don't flush it though, I'll make dinner for you all
(Mumbles) I'm possessed too
Wait a minute, eh, don't leave me yet, hey
Welcome to the House of Horrors
"Honey?"
"What?"
"I'm scared"
"I know, sweety, come on"
Jump Steady, Nate the Mack, lemme tell you something
With Billy Bill and Rude Boy, what about 'em, nothing
They're my boys, I just had to give 'em props
And together we form the cyclops
Hahahahaha look at you, haha, you're a bitch
Should I let your ass go? Hahahaha, no
I'll let your bitch out, but you get the bone
Run along sugar tits, he ain't coming home
"Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you, bitch"
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