1
On August first, nineteen eighty one
I cycled to Scott's house with a BB gun
We were almost twelve, but we looked thirteen
He had baby-blue eyes that I shot him between
Nature provides for us a safety net
Whatever we do, we can never forget
I live with it every day
Even though we moved away
Our yesterdays are on a loop
A marathon of heartbreaking moments
The day they found me asleep on the floor
Engine running, closed garage door
Was the day the 'For Sale' sign arrived on the lawn
Two weeks later, and we were gone
Everyone falls through time and the funnel it makes
But I'm staying here inside my biggest mistake
I live with it every day
Even though we moved away
Our yesterdays are on a loop
A marathon of heartbreaking moments
I live with it every day
For every step I have to pay
The only thing that they can't take
The guilt that spirals in my wake
The love I put away
Like games that children play
The hearts you choose to break
Like cars dumped in the lake
The laugh lines on your face
The life I won't embrace
The cold house I won't leave
The guests I won't receive
I live with it every day
Even though we moved away
Our yesterdays are on a loop
A marathon of heartbreaking moments
I live with it every day
For every step I have to pay
The only thing that they can't take
The guilt that spirals in my wake
I cycled to Scott's house with a BB gun
We were almost twelve, but we looked thirteen
He had baby-blue eyes that I shot him between
Nature provides for us a safety net
Whatever we do, we can never forget
I live with it every day
Even though we moved away
Our yesterdays are on a loop
A marathon of heartbreaking moments
The day they found me asleep on the floor
Engine running, closed garage door
Was the day the 'For Sale' sign arrived on the lawn
Two weeks later, and we were gone
Everyone falls through time and the funnel it makes
But I'm staying here inside my biggest mistake
I live with it every day
Even though we moved away
Our yesterdays are on a loop
A marathon of heartbreaking moments
I live with it every day
For every step I have to pay
The only thing that they can't take
The guilt that spirals in my wake
The love I put away
Like games that children play
The hearts you choose to break
Like cars dumped in the lake
The laugh lines on your face
The life I won't embrace
The cold house I won't leave
The guests I won't receive
I live with it every day
Even though we moved away
Our yesterdays are on a loop
A marathon of heartbreaking moments
I live with it every day
For every step I have to pay
The only thing that they can't take
The guilt that spirals in my wake
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Well, in my opinion this song is about being a young & maybe a little naive &/or introverted girl and finding yourself loving a man who is at first very charming, carefree & outgoing, and seems at first to be without limits, as in
"There was a time
you opened up every doorway
you didn't mind if everything
wasn't your way"
then that man starts to gradually become more introverted & shows their more possessive/obsessive side to you as the relationship progresses, even while they keep up the appearance of being carefree & outgoing to everyone else,
"Don't pull away
that goes against what you told me
I look in your eyes
I realize what you've sold me
is love in a vacuum"
so you confront them about the way they're acting and of course they deny it,
"I think you've changed
but you insist that
that's not true"
quite possibly they are an addict of some sort, my guess would be cocaine, &/or showing very obsessive behavior towards you (early on in the video for this song we see the man hanging a picture up, it is a very large portrait of Aimee & it is prominently displayed in his/their apartment for the duration of the song), thus their "love in a vacuum",
"You look so strange, so distant
that you're hardly you
Now I can see
how you have been acting different
You say it's me
but I know
that it isn't
it's love in a vacuum"
but still you are in love with them and don't want to leave them and you know that they are truly in love with you and they don't want you to leave them either, maybe they are convinced you can save them from themself, maybe they are so broken that the possibility of an overdose &/or suicide attempt is very real and you want to get through to them that their behavior not only dangerous but it is also just pissing you off and if they don't wise up they run the risk of loosing you, as in the lines
"You will be lonely
if you leave me alone", so you want to save them but can't get through to them due to the addiction &/or emotional problems they have,
"Love in a vacuum
and that's not enough
love in a vacuum
You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
You will be lonely
if you leave me alone
You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
it's just not enough"
you want them to understand that the love they are giving you is not enough when it is filtered through the vacuum of their drug addiction &/or emotional impairment,
"You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
it's just not enough
and just wait
you will be lonely
Love in a vacuum
Love in a vacuum
and that's not enough
Love in a vacuum".
'Love In A Vacuum' for me is a hauntingly truthful acute argument on the loneliness of obsession and almost inevitable loss of love that follows people who are broken in some way or another; the obsessives, the coke heads, the drunks, addicts or the just-plain-old emotionally broken; a razor sharp, lyrically driven, deceptively poppy, yet ultimately-depressing-in-the-best-way song.
Quintessential Aimee Mann.
this kid shot his friend in the head with a BB gun, i suppose accidentally, and he still feels so guilty about it he tries to kill himself. they move away, but he still feels incredibly guilty and starts to isolate himself inside his house.
It's obvious he tried to kill himself: "The day they found me asleep on the floor/Engine running, closed garage door"...sounds like a suicide attempt to me.
yeah. i think thats what its about. he killed his friend, not on purpose, and tired to kill himself. he suffers from depression: "The life I won't embrace The cold house I won't leave The guests I won't receive " and its just sad. very upbeat sounding, but not...
this song's had special meaning to me, because I was listening to it when I crashed (and totaled) my car.
it's certainly not shooting someone, but the memory does live with me
He's depressed about accidentally killing his friend. It drove him to attempt suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning. It's about the things we do that we're ashamed of, but refuse to allow ourselves to forget.
I know this is a song with a serious message, but I can't get over how awesome the bridge is. Especially when everything cuts out under the lyrics and then the drums come in.
I love these lyrics, they are so clever.
Everyone falls through time and the funnel it makes But I'm staying here inside my biggest mistake
Everything moves on - though it's like a funnel because you can't go back and change things. He can't move on because of his 'biggest mistake'.
Simply brilliant!
This song is fantasmic. The word choices just make me happy... And the harmony in "The love I put away" etc makes me happy. And BNL just makes me happy. But I only ever listen to them when I'm crying my eyes out.
this song is obviously about guilt, but i dont think he tries to kill himself. did this actually happen?
Probably did happen, the 80s were pretty bad. I tried to find anything related to it, to no avail. This was interesting though:
kyrene.k12.az.us/schools/brisas/sunda/decade/1980.htm
august 1, 1981 was the day that MTV first went on the air. maybe thats the real reason why he went to Scott's...