If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a house (I would buy you a house)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you furniture for your house (maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car (a nice reliant automobile)
And if I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars (I'd build a tree fort in our yard)
If I had a million dollars (you could help, it wouldn't be that hard)
If I had a million dollars (maybe we could put a little tiny refrigerator in there somewhere)

(You know we could just go up there and hang out)
(Like open the fridge and stuff and there'd all be foods laid out for us)
(With little pre-wrapped sausages and things, mmm)
(They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon)
(Well, can you blame them? Yeah)

If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a fur coat (but not a real fur coat that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet (yep, like a llama or an emu)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains (ooh, all them crazy elephant bones)
And if I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars (we wouldn't have to walk to the store)
If I had a million dollars (now we'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more)
If I had a million dollars (we wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner)

(But we would eat Kraft dinner)
(Of course we would, we'd just eat more)
(And buy really expensive ketchups with it)
(That's right, all the fanciest Dijon ketchups, mmm)

If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you some art (a Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a monkey (haven't you always wanted a monkey?)
If I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
I'd be rich


Lyrics submitted by ojms

If I Had $1,000,000 Lyrics as written by Steven Page Ed Robertson

Lyrics © Songtrust Ave, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.

Lyrics powered by LyricFind

If I Had A $1000000 song meanings
Add Your Thoughts

58 Comments

sort form View by:
  • +1
    General Comment

    It's a terrific song and very playful as the other posters have said. It seemed a little "strange" at first to have a couple of guys go back and forth on this song, but that's what makes it so good.

    Anyways, the band I'm in has worked this into our shows too. We figured if a couple of guys who are non-gay (ie. Steven and Ed) could get away with performing this, so could a couple of opposite-sex siblings. We'll even ad-lib some "sibling rivalry" jokes into it. All in good fun and taste, that is. Kinda like this song!

    One time, my bro threw in "I'd buy you John Wilkes Booth's remains just to throw me off (I do the "response" vocals on this song).

    Susan_The_BassPlayeon November 28, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    A BNL classic. The original version (this one) is better than the one from Rock Spectacle, although, they are both cool. They just talk about prewrapped bacon in this one, and that makes it so much better.

    weezerific:cutleryon November 26, 2001   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    Hahaha, Newfoundfinch, you're soooo fun-knee! Come on! please tell me you are not shallow enough to judge a group based on their image. They might not be super models, but they're not ugly. (check their keyboard player)
    At least their songs don't contain swear words, disses to other artists, and are not about exactly the same thing (like, you know, love?)! ! ! ! !

    sarahmansouron May 17, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    Jerk. (Newfoundfinch) BNL is the BEST. They are hot, and I love them to death.

    dontlabelmeon June 02, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    Jerk. (Newfoundfinch) BNL is the BEST. They are hot, and I love them to death.

    dontlabelmeon June 02, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    This song is a perfect example of the group's playfulness and witty lyrics. They're a great group of entertainers who don't seem to take too much seriously, the reason why we love them so.

    beatls8on June 04, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    does anyone know the words of this song in the beginning of the version on rock spectacle? i'm tuaght my best not to look like a miner niner? what is that??

    ClockBlinkingEightson June 21, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    Actually, they sing a verse from "this is me in grade " in the version just to taunt the audience. I heard they usually drag into the introduction of "if i had $1000000" for fun. (they play the tune but sing something else )

    The lyrics are: I got a blue and white adidas bag I've got a blue-and-red Adidas bag and a humongous binder I'm trying my best not to look like a minor niner I went out for the football team to prove that I'm a man I guess I shouldn't tell them that I like Duran Duran

    SilentWitnesson June 22, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    and to the hypocrite who expects beauty in musicians: listen to pop music or be quiet.

    They are just regular guys with little fashion sense.

    SilentWitnesson June 22, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    ShiverForMe...are you serious that you didn't know that we use dollars in canada? ..shame, shame what did you think we used?

    Great song! Makes me happy!

    *mLe*on July 04, 2002   Link

Add your thoughts

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!

More Featured Meanings

Album art
The Night We Met
Lord Huron
This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines: "Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet" So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other: "I had all and then most of you" Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart "Some and now none of you" Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship. This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Album art
Bron-Y-Aur Stomp
Led Zeppelin
This is about bronies. They communicate by stomping.
Album art
Head > Heels
Ed Sheeran
“Head > Heels” is a track that aims to capture what it feels like to experience romance that exceeds expectations. Ed Sheeran dedicates his album outro to a lover who has blessed him with a unique experience that he seeks to describe through the song’s nuanced lyrics.
Album art
Amazing
Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran tells a story of unsuccessfully trying to feel “Amazing.” This track is about the being weighed down by emotional stress despite valiant attempts to find some positivity in the situation. This track was written by Ed Sheeran from the perspective of his friend. From the track, we see this person fall deeper into the negative thoughts and slide further down the path of mental torment with every lyric.
Album art
Page
Ed Sheeran
There aren’t many things that’ll hurt more than giving love a chance against your better judgement only to have your heart crushed yet again. Ed Sheeran tells such a story on “Page.” On this track, he is devastated to have lost his lover and even more saddened by the feeling that he may never move on from this.