So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
I've been a bad bad girl
I've been careless with my delicate man
And its a sad sad world
When a girl will break a boy
Just because she can
Don't you tell me to deny it
I've done wrong and I want to
Suffer for my sins
I've come to you 'cause I need
Guidance to be true
And I just don't know where I can begin
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love
Heaven help me for the way I am
Save me from these evil deeds before I get them done
I know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand
But I keep livin' this day like
The next will never come
Oh help me but don't tell me
To deny it
I've got to cleanse myself
Of all these lies till I'm good enough for him
I've got a lot to lose and I'm bettin' high
So I'm beggin' you before it ends
Just tell me where to begin
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love
Let me know the way
Before there's hell to pay
Give me room to lay the law and let me go
I've got to make a play
To make my lover stay
So what would an angel say
The devil wants to know
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love
I've been careless with my delicate man
And its a sad sad world
When a girl will break a boy
Just because she can
Don't you tell me to deny it
I've done wrong and I want to
Suffer for my sins
I've come to you 'cause I need
Guidance to be true
And I just don't know where I can begin
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love
Heaven help me for the way I am
Save me from these evil deeds before I get them done
I know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand
But I keep livin' this day like
The next will never come
Oh help me but don't tell me
To deny it
I've got to cleanse myself
Of all these lies till I'm good enough for him
I've got a lot to lose and I'm bettin' high
So I'm beggin' you before it ends
Just tell me where to begin
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love
Let me know the way
Before there's hell to pay
Give me room to lay the law and let me go
I've got to make a play
To make my lover stay
So what would an angel say
The devil wants to know
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love
Lyrics submitted by SNYder, edited by InfinitStar
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Whoever sings appears so exaggeratedly guilty that I cannot help thinking that his vision comes from sarcasm. A sarcastic vision of a part of a toxic relationship, where the low self-esteem and insecurity lead to guiltyness for every little movement. Felling small and not good enough. Idealizing and endorsing the other party (possibly a selfish prick) playing god. Girl, run as fast as you can. This aint gonna change.
@capitanrepollo I was making a playlist and got distracted on here for a bit and saw as it’s a recent comment. I didn’t even realise people commented here still! I think there are multiple interpretations, but was getting this feeling too, pondering such dynamics, even used “playing God” in what I wrote last night. I agree you must detect and get out fast (as you can, baby ;)). It’s not not that you’re not lovable/not good enough. This is an unforgiving, toxic, controlling person who is trying desperately to hide their own insecurities and fears that they may be unlovable or not good enough and their way of maintaining power and control is protecting these things onto others... This is deeply unfair to others, yes, but they don’t do themselves any favors either as it catches up with them over their lives. A sad story overall.