I believe this is another amazingly on point and nuanced commentary on the insanity that follows emotionally abusive relationships. The abuser has no anxieties, no emotional pain, or salience/memory for that matter, so the survivor appears to be the crazy one, obsessed with the abuse and that buzzword that seems to ignite arguments about diagnosing people without a degree, etc. funny how you say the words domestic violence, abuse, abuse survivor and boom the subject changes. Anyways, I especially relate to her midnights becoming afternoons, complex PTSD often leads to this phenomenon, whether due to purposeful sleep deprivation by the abuser, or just hyper vigilance associated with the PTSD, along with the fear of facing people, especially your loved ones, who
Never actually understand, even if they try, because all they see is you, on fire, screaming about the arsonist that no one ever sees, and who has been spreading lies about your alleged mental instability, deceptive personality, etc. the whole time. While the last thing survivors need is more blame, our society supports a narrative that blames the objectively innocent party because the blatantly guilty party has spent their entire lives fabricating a persona and we’re just being human, and human psychology is quite counterintuitive especially in the context of trauma. Look at Amber Heard. Vilified and not believed, regardless of what any abuse survivor could recognize as a fellow survivor instantly. But Johnny depp is a malignant narcissist, a man, and wealthy as all get out. It’s sick.
I've walked through this world sometimes without a friend
My life has been up and down, been close to an end
But I've been through the mill
And I've paid my dues
Walked so many miles in different peoples shoes
But I've been through the fire
And I've walked in the rain
I've felt the joy and endured the pain
Once I was a schemer
But I always was a dreamer
But it took me who I was and where I've been
To make me who I am
I've met a lot of lost souls in the bowels of hell
Traveled some crooked roads, got some stories yet to tell
I've shot up with the junkie, in piss stench halls
Broken bread with the devil, fallen on my knees to god
Some days I was blessed, some nights I was damned
But I always tried to lend a helping hand
Once I was a deceiver
Not I am a believer
But it took me who I was and where I've been
To make me who I am
Oh, I've seen the little children, all strung out on dope
No one to care about them, living without hope
But I've been lucky that I always had a song
I'll sing it with compassion, to try to right the wrong.
Once my life was wretched
But why should I regret it
'cause, it took me who I was, and where I've been
To make me who I am
Speech:
This is dedicated to my friends in jail
For my brother jake who had to ride the rail
For my friend roonie and melvin, who were so dear
They were so misunderstood
But I wish they were still here
To hear this song I sing from my heart
They're forever in my soul, even though we had to part
Once I was a deceiver
Not I am a believer
But it took me who I was and where I've been
To make me who I am
God said I forgive you
Wipe away the scars
Cause I know it took who you were
And where you came from
To make you who you are
Cause I know it took who you were
And where you came from
To make you what you are
My life has been up and down, been close to an end
But I've been through the mill
And I've paid my dues
Walked so many miles in different peoples shoes
But I've been through the fire
And I've walked in the rain
I've felt the joy and endured the pain
Once I was a schemer
But I always was a dreamer
But it took me who I was and where I've been
To make me who I am
I've met a lot of lost souls in the bowels of hell
Traveled some crooked roads, got some stories yet to tell
I've shot up with the junkie, in piss stench halls
Broken bread with the devil, fallen on my knees to god
Some days I was blessed, some nights I was damned
But I always tried to lend a helping hand
Once I was a deceiver
Not I am a believer
But it took me who I was and where I've been
To make me who I am
Oh, I've seen the little children, all strung out on dope
No one to care about them, living without hope
But I've been lucky that I always had a song
I'll sing it with compassion, to try to right the wrong.
Once my life was wretched
But why should I regret it
'cause, it took me who I was, and where I've been
To make me who I am
Speech:
This is dedicated to my friends in jail
For my brother jake who had to ride the rail
For my friend roonie and melvin, who were so dear
They were so misunderstood
But I wish they were still here
To hear this song I sing from my heart
They're forever in my soul, even though we had to part
Once I was a deceiver
Not I am a believer
But it took me who I was and where I've been
To make me who I am
God said I forgive you
Wipe away the scars
Cause I know it took who you were
And where you came from
To make you who you are
Cause I know it took who you were
And where you came from
To make you what you are
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