"Punch And Judy" as written by and Derek William/kelly Dick....
Washing machine, pinstripe dream
Stripped the gloss from a beauty queen
Found our nest, in the Daily Express
Met the vicar in a holy vest
Brought up the children Church of E
Now I vegetate with a colour TV
Worst ever thing that ever happened to me
Oh, for D.I.V.O.R.C.E., oh Judy
Whatever happened to pillow fights
Whatever happened to jeans so tight, Friday nights
Whatever happened to lover's lane
Whatever happened to passion games
Sunday walks in the pouring rain
Curling tongs, mogadons
"I got a headache baby, don't take so long"
Single beds, middle age dread
Losing the war in the Waistlands spread
Who left the cap of the toothpaste tube
Who forgot to flush the loo
Leave your sweaty socks outside the door
Don't walk across my polished floor, oh Judy
Whatever happened to morning smiles
Whatever happened to wicked wiles, permissive styles
Whatever happened to twinkling eyes, hard fast drives
Complements on unnatural size
Propping up a bar, family car
Sweating out a mortgage as a balding clerk
World war three, suburbanshee
Just slip her these pills and I'll be free
No more Judy, Judy, Judy no more
Goodbye Judy
Stripped the gloss from a beauty queen
Found our nest, in the Daily Express
Met the vicar in a holy vest
Brought up the children Church of E
Now I vegetate with a colour TV
Worst ever thing that ever happened to me
Oh, for D.I.V.O.R.C.E., oh Judy
Whatever happened to pillow fights
Whatever happened to jeans so tight, Friday nights
Whatever happened to lover's lane
Whatever happened to passion games
Sunday walks in the pouring rain
Curling tongs, mogadons
"I got a headache baby, don't take so long"
Single beds, middle age dread
Losing the war in the Waistlands spread
Who left the cap of the toothpaste tube
Who forgot to flush the loo
Leave your sweaty socks outside the door
Don't walk across my polished floor, oh Judy
Whatever happened to morning smiles
Whatever happened to wicked wiles, permissive styles
Whatever happened to twinkling eyes, hard fast drives
Complements on unnatural size
Propping up a bar, family car
Sweating out a mortgage as a balding clerk
World war three, suburbanshee
Just slip her these pills and I'll be free
No more Judy, Judy, Judy no more
Goodbye Judy
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His early years with 'Judy' were the typical story of the passions of young love (described in the "whatever happened..." lines of the chorus) but his current situation (described in the verses) is no longer carefree and Judy is clearly just a nagging influence who is no longer any fun to be around.
He'd wants a divorce but for whatever reason cannot obtain one so he decides the only way to escape is to kill his wife by poisoning her.
(great pop song!)
I remember listening to this when I was about 14 and thinking that all marriages must be like this! Well I got to 40 and while some bits have a small ring of truth, life's what you make it. You make bad choices with your partner ( pick beauty over brains ) and they might come true! LOL!