Ode To My Family

@SunDevil
Yes. "Where's" could mean whereas or "in contrast too." However, replacing "where's" with "whereas" doesn't' exactly make sense because of the AND in the sentence.

Whereas when I was young AND we didn't give a damn.

You see , it's a fragment. It would make if the AND were replaced with a comma.

Whereas when I was young, we didn't give a damn.

But the AND is there. So, it makes more sense to interpret “where’s” as “where is” and then put a question mark at the end of the sentence.

Where is when I was young and we didn’t give a damn?

You see, she’s asking what happened to the days of her youth when she and her family didn’t give a damn. “When I was young” is treated as noun in the sentence. It’s an odd, but very working class Irish way of phrasing things.

I think we had the same parents, but I don't remember you.....were you the one crying down the hall??? We should have hung out, cried together, then gone to get ice cream!!!

@pinkfuzzybunny I'm 19 too. We're both listening on the same song with the same age but different time

@Ondinechan I completely agree, why would someone write such a sad song for a fairytale childhood?

@Ondinechan I completely agree, why would someone write such a sad song for a fairytale childhood? Plus, the words 'does anyone care' is a cry for help. No wonder there are so many troubled and abused people around if words like this cannot - or will not - be heard.

I think I have a bit of a better understanding of the song now.

"Understand the things I say
Don't turn away from me."

She's appealing to her family to listen to what she wants to say. it suggests that she and her family have suffered a rift in their relationship and she's trying to reach out to them and hope to make them understand. The song is really aimed at them not us.

"cause I spend half my life out there
You wouldn't disagree"

"Out there" refers to the music industry. She's referring to how it is a prominent part of her life and hints that it's the reason for the rift and how both sides are aware of that.

"D'you see me? D'you see?
D'you like me? D'you like me standing there?
D'you notice me? D'you know?
D'you see me? D'you see me?
Does anyone care?"

She wants to know if her family still watches what she does in life. If they still care enough to support her even if they don't express it directly. She still thinks about them and she wants to believe that they care about her.

"Unhappiness, where's when I was young
and we didn't give a damn?"

This line is a personal reflection she's having of herself. She wants to be able to go back to when things were more simple, back to before this rift formed in their family. It's also probably a reference to her siblings when they were growing up while the opening chorus was more a general focus on her whole family.

"caused we were raised
to see life as fun and take it if we can."

more reflection on how they were at this time. She is trying to get them to remember with her the better times when they got along better.

"My mother, my mother she holds me
Did she hold me, when i was out there?"

She switches her attention to her parents. She reflects with her mother back to when she was young and her mother nurtured her and cared for her. Then she asks "Did she hold me when I was out there?" Think about the image of a mother holding onto the picture and weeping over a distant child. She wants to know if her mother misses her because she misses her family.

"My father, my father he liked me
He liked me. Does anyone care?"

Again reflecting back on when they got along better this time specifically with her father at first. She's going directly to how her father liked her (cared for her) and then she asks to her family and less directly to anyone listening to this song if they care. It's the only line in this song that really is for not only her family but to all of us to reflect upon to understand how things have become difficult in her life.

"Understand what I've become"

Here we see she's appealing to her family that they may not like it but this is who she is now and she wants them to accept it despite their disagreements with how it happened.

"It wasn't my design"

She stresses this first part. SHe is saying she wouldn't have chosen this path if she had her own choice but that this is still who she is and that she can't change that. THat it wasn't a conscious choice she could make to "betray" her family as they see it.

"and people everywhere think
Something better than I am"

Here it is different. We see a direct evidence of regret of where she is. She's becoming famous and we as fans like her music but she feels that she is not worthy of this praise she gets.

"but I missed it, I missed it
cause I liked it, I liked it
When I was out there"

I think this is a double ended one. She misses her family and she still likes her family but it's also referring to how she misses the music when she's away from it and she can't go away from it now. She wants both her family's approval and the music.

"d'you know this, D'you know
Did you not find me, you did not find
Does anyone care?"

She is asking her family if they realize that this is what makes her happy if they can understand this. but in the end she realizes that they do not understand "You did not find" and falls back into regret as she repeats the line from the first verse and goes back into the chorus.

there's really a lot of evidence of post-decision dissonance in this song and some evidence of the justification effect. It's really powerfully emotional and psychological and I love it. I really hope her family listened because it's obvious that she cares for them and wanted to be able to share her life with them.