Tomorrow is the anniversary of Olivia Marchand's death. Liv was my friend. She and I grew up together, since the 1st grade. She was killed one year ago, tomorrow. I'm sad and I'm upset but I miss her. I miss walking down the hall at school and seeing her face. She is hands down the most beautiful girl I have ever seen before. Dear Liv, I miss you like you could not imagine. Just seeing your face everyday made all the difference to me. I remember when I found out you were gone. I went to school and sat in my history room, to Mr. A announce your death to the school, at 8am. Many people didn't know that you had gone, me being one of them. I sat and heard your name. The most intense feeling rushed through my body. My heart broke. I went home, and created that page for you on facebook. It spread like wild fire. I miss you so much. I try not to cry anymore about it, but sometimes I can't help it. I know you are watching over everyone, even people you didn't know, just because you are that type of girl. I think about you every single day of my life. My tattoo is for you, for peace, and for love. I have learned so much from you, and I will never forget one second of your life. I remember 1st grade, I thought you were the prettiest girl I had ever seen. I wanted to be your best friend, and we were. You got sick all the time back then, threw up on me once while our teacher spoke and we sat on the rug. I miss you so much. I only have one question for you Liv, Do you remember me? "But if the sun shines know its because of you."

So I have a boyfriend. His name is James. He's great. He is 18. He has a son. His ex just told him that she thins she is pregnant again. She isn't, I hope. I mean she went to the GYN but they would have told her if she was pregnant. Tim's great. We are on the phone right now, talking about everything.

Work= quite fun. I enjoyed it a lot, even though I screwed up soooo many times....including putting the plastic funnel on the hot coffee burner and melting it alllllllllll over. Oh well. Out with Darcy tonight, clubbing the night away :) Work again tomorrow 1 to 8, ohhh yes. Going to be a good week ;D

So being bored for the rest of the day. Went to get my work clothes and did some shopping for the club tomorrow night. Should be fun, all my ladies from work are going :) It needs to be tomorrow already. I'm ready for work and partying.

I had to go to the gynocologist today. It stunk lol. I've been talking to Tim for the past few hours, texting. He seems like he is happy talking to me again. Which is awesome because I have so much hope in this kid. Becca is coming over tonight, and for those of you who dont know, Becca is my bestest friend :) We are going to go out probably. We just gotta figure out what we are going to do I guess. I am going to try and look all pretty just incase we run into attractive boys :D Soooooo yeah, thats my night lol.

So I just got accepted into Quinnipiac University for the Physician Assistant Program. It'd not my top school, but it was at one point. So far I am 6 for 6. Have not gotten rejected yet :D That's always good. Only waiting to hear back from Westfield State, which I don't care about lol. I have to make a decision soon about what I am going to do.

Oh lordy, I am starting to realize that Tim kinda sucks. But I am used to it. Pretty much all of the guys I have gotten close with turn into losers who try to bring me down with them. I was upset about it at first, that he wouldn't really talk to me. But now I just think whatever because I am not wasting my time. I am all set with that. Just gotta wait til I meet somebody who is unlike all the others.

I have a countdown on my desktop, it is at 96 days left. There are 96 days left until May 1st. My goal is to lose 33 more pounds. I went to the doctors and when I looked at that scale I was like wow. I was the heaviest I have ever been. I lost 6 pounds this past week, so now 33 more and I should be of goal weight. This is all really important, for many reasons. I want to look amazing for prom on May 21st, and I want to look even better for when I go to Florida on the 24th of May. It's going to be awesome. But most important is that, I have to be the right weight and in great shape for this summer, because I have the military to worry about starting in August. The rest of my life relies on this. It's crazy. Well Tim and I have been talking a little bit. He said he didn't know if we could hang out on Friday, but I hope we can. It would be fun. I just want to go on a real date for once. I want somebody to take me out to dinner, or bowling, or roller blading. Anything, just a real date. I am tired of all you boys who just think going to the movies is a date! A date is somewhere where you can interact with the person! Add something onto seeing a movie and you got yourself a date. I am also sick of guys only wanting to go out so they can try to get some! WTH is with that!? I am not somebody who just gives it up that easy. I don't even make out that easy! Come on guys, gimme a break!

Texting Tim right now, he finally decided to text me today. I expected that. I asked him if he would want to go out next Friday, since we couldn't this past weekend. I would really like to. I'm feeling alright right now, just wishing exams were over. Actually I wish all of school was over haha. I'm not really so depressed right now either. I think its because I have been so busy that I have not had the time to feel alone. I am trying to keep my head up. I'll be good if I can just do that.

Thanks for the replies. I don't think today will be better when it comes to him, he isn't a football fan either lol. All I am trying to do is get over it, but when it comes to things that have potential, I don't want to let go. Therefore I am going to drive myself crazy over it lol. It really sucks, but I am trying to get over the fact that he sucks and I shouldn't waste my time on people like that. Sooooo today I start midterms, which is going to suck, considering I have to be there at 7 when my exam doesn't start til 10:30. I'll be up in the library, studying a little for English but mostly for AP Euro. I really have nothing to do after exams, I'll ask my nana to come pick me up but thats about it. I'll probably go to the gym tonight with Becca. I am so sore from working out. My shoulders are definitely feeling the burn! I'm a total nerd because I sit at the gym looking at the diagrams of human muscles and name all the scientific names for the ones I will be working lol. Total nerd. BUT I lost 6 pounds doing it haha. Tim sucks, but me and Mark still talk. Not much but some. I wish he was here, and not so far away. He makes everything better, I'll be honest. I like him just as much as I did before, and if he were here, I'd be with him in a second.