Welp. I just accidentally read some spoilers in "Dexter". Dammit. Ha ha. I'm glad that is the only thing close to "getting me down" lately. Here's to the rest of the day!

Whew. That was close. Ha. Welp, back to the new routine. Popcorn. Cup Noodles. "Dexter". Writing reviews. Breathing. Smiling. Living in the now. Looking forward to tomorrow. Here's to another day!

I just finished season one of "Dexter". I'm in love. Amazing show. The weather is amazing today. I need to write a paper that's due in 2 and 1/2 hours. I can do. I hope. Ha. It's a good day. I had some instant coffee (my coffee maker broke) and a cigarette this morning and just felt... good. It's nice feeling that way. I'm feeling new. I'm feeling cleaner. More innocent. I miss innocence. Here's to another day!

Stay positive. You're good. All is good. Continue to smile. Don't stress. Watch another episode of "Dexter". Breathe. All is calm. It's All Crazy! It's All False! It's All A Dream! It's Alright. None shall pass. Keep a thick shell. You won't get hurt. Write. Just continue to write. Don't let anyone into your head. You're fine. I love you.

Today was a good day. The optimism is staying pretty well. I cut ties with a guy that I've never liked. I'm happy about that. I started "Dexter" tonight. Holy shit. It is the bomb. I'll finally be starting the third season of "Breaking Bad" soon. I'm very excited about that. Today was a good day. I didn't even have to use my AK. Ha. I love that.

Inhale. I'm sticking to this optimism thing. It's gorgeous today. The weather is perfection. Whenever I need a reminder to stay positive, I throw on mewithoutYou's "It's All Crazy! It's All False! It's All A Dream! It's Alright". I can always count on that album to pull me out of a slump. Smile. I'm going to do that more. I'm not putting up with people's bullshit anymore. God, I'm sorry I was so bitter. I'm going to try harder to connect with you. I haven't had a drink in a while. I feel really good about that. It's a beautiful day to be alive. It really, truly is. Exhale.

I think I'm going to start searching for God again. I think that's what I need. It's not you. I won't find it anyone else. I need to be at peace with myself before I can be a peace with anything else. Cheers to optimism.

You are a true friend. Thank you for calming me when I'm losing my mind. Thank you for talking sense into me. God, my head is spinning. Breathe. Just breathe.

I want a good girl. I want a girl that doesn't live to party. I can handle some drinking but why must every girl I meet have a love for weed and pills and shrooms and going crazy. I became accustom to you. I still haven't fully adjusted since the fall. I'm giving up for a while. Retreating into my own mind and my own soul and my own bed. I need to sleep. I need to feel rested. I'm so fucking restless.

I could have fucked her. She was in my bed trying her damnedest to get me to but I didn't. I long for compassion. I long for intimacy. I long for a connection. I long for comfort. I long for understanding. I long for love. And for that, I sleep alone.