im so lost. and im sorry. im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry i just need this all to stop. i cant do it anymore. i cant.

im a mess. this is killing me inside. and idt u know that. but this is for u. if i have to choose you know i will choose my friends. i just hoped it didnt have to come down to this

i am trying my HARDest to fix this. im considering ending it because of this. i hope you know that. im not "letting" him get away with it. believe me hes not getting away with it.

perfect song quote. feelings are meant to be obvious. theyre meant to get a point across. and you obviously either dont care or you choose to ignore them. so thank you for ignoring my feelings towards you and how you treat me. i appriciate it. from the bottom of my "selfish" heart i appriciate it

idk who im becomming. i lied flat out to him. he asked what it was and i lied. im not proud of it.it makes me sick just thinking about it. i will tell him the truth. i hope i will tell him the truth

its an addiction. i cant stop no matter how much it hurts and its because of you. you cause me so much pain.i never thought someome could be so cruel to another human being. especially their own child. it just blows my mind that you have as much compassion, maybe even less, as a rock. if it doesnt benefit you, fuck everyone else. and you've made it perfectly clear you dont want me back. that after i leave im gone. and im okay with that. thats how much pain you've caused me. once i leave for college mom you never have to see me again. i hope you're happy with the pain you've caused me and shannon. i hope you're happy with all of the decisions you have made. actually i take all of that back. i dont hope that you're happy. you do not deserve the pleasure of happiness. you deserve pain and heart break and failure. i hope that one day you feel the pain you have caused me because maybe, just maybe you'll realize what a horrible person you are. i hope you hate yourself and everything you are. i hope you regret every single last decision you have ever made, right down to the type of tooth paste you use. i hope you regret yourself. thats my wish for you

you both fail as parents. with this divorce you have deserted your roles. you both only take care of yourselves. fuck me and shannon. its about what you want. and that may sound selfish but we're 16 and 13 so excuse me if having parents around would be nice. or at least parents who care enough to be home or spend time with you. but you guys will never change. you've always been this way. it just took a divorce, splitting a family up, for it to start showing.

im rethinking everything. and im sorry if it turns out you get the short straw. i dont want to sound like a hypocrite but i jsut dont know if it feels right anymore

shutyour fucking mouth. i dont want to hear what you have to say about my life. you dont know whats best for me. no one knows whats best for me. if you're trying to "protect" me then stop. i need to make my own mistakes and learn from them. not learn from yours. idek what to say because i thought you supported me. i thought you were on my side. i guess i was wrong. im going to do what i want to do when i want to do it and with whomever i want. and if u dont like that then tough. this is my life. i only have one. ive had shit in my life and im going to live the rest of it however i want regardless of what you or anyone else says. its my life. let me live it

now hes moving too. in about 9 months he wants to be out of westford. he does nto want to buy the house hes renting and thats the only way he can stay. shannon and i think its because i wants to be closer to mindy. that could be. but since the cancer, that has been the ONLY thing left in my life that was normal. that wasnt changing. and now this has to change too. i dont want all this change. i cant deal with it. i just want it to stop. for everything to go back to normal. to a happy family under one roof. to parents who actually talk to each other. but thats never going to happen. and im afraid of change.