hopelessly hopeful you're just hopeless enough. i know this sounds stupid. so. i'm going to say it anyways. harry potter has always hit home for me. it's just special. i've always wanted to go somewhere like hogwarts. i always wanted a place that felt like home and friends who made it feel like that, nonomnonononewf/ewfjn. no.i can't do this. no.no.no. fine. fine. i did it. but i'm not going to say it. it's stupid. i don't matter. screw you. stupid. stupid. stupid. you know what kids like you deserve. took a shot and didn't even come close. at trust and love and hope.

all it takes is a smile. 'hi.' 'hey.' i take the long way to my locker to get that. i obsess over getting that the entire day. that and the crooked smile. i mix up song lyrics to describe him because just one won't do. i'm such a 14 year old girl that words can't define it properly. screw you, elitist 15-16 year olds. screw you and your experience. screw you and the way i'll be you in a year or two. one way conversation by taking back sunday is making me happy and dizzy at the same time. the sound is flashing back and forth through the headphones. don't i atleast get points for acknowledging it? no? okay. you really should see those eyes. i remember being able to stare at them on a crowded bus because he has this way of staring out into space listening to his iPod. now i get to stare at them when I see him on the next-to empty bus sometimes. and the conversation flows so easily. with a few pauses of course. it makes me so happy. mainly because i always see him when i've given no care to my appearance. and he still smiles at me the same way. please. please. not just another stupid cru/ash. this is making me sad. because i know how it will end. he's a year older. he's friends with the right group of friends. can't i defy? i'm sorry. i'm really sorry. i hate the way i feel. i hate it. but i love the way it makes me feel. i'm sorry. i want to be someone who makes people fall in love again. but then again. it's not good form if you know it is. thank you dr. hook. screw you.

double entry ALERT. oh bluest eyes. why you? why me? why this band? whywhywhy? maybe i sortof think, youknow, i might kindof like you inaway and i dont know why. playradioplay! is what you sound like. the synthesizer being my heartbeat. do you think maybe you kindof sortof youknow inaway. feel the same? be my clyde.

it's just past eight and i am feeling young and reckless. well, that's a lie. it's almost nine. well, now it is. fuck teachers. why can't i have a hero instead? i will leave you high and dry. it's not worth the hearing you'll lose. besides. i've got such good fashion sense.

in love with love and lousy poetry. it's cool, we can just be friends. friction; 1. surface resistance to relative motion, as of a body sliding or rolling. 2. the rubbing of the surface of one body against that of another.

http://weboughtyourjury.blogspot.com/ a moment is the way of beauty.

has any boy ever thought of it in the girl's perspective? how maybe the girl really isn't so.. uncaring? maybe she's just trying to get by and find love and happines just like anyone else. i have trouble believing that boys have feelings. i really do. they must keep it covered under layers upon layers of lead. the Happy Prince with the heart of lead. even he could cry. i wonder. with his beautiful eyes of sapphire. i can be your Swallow. i'll be your messenger of the night. i wish. oh patience. oh patience. c r a/u s h my dreams. ONE two three ONE two three ONE two three TESTINGTESTING i want to be beaten up. like a whole group of people just beating me up. hey. either that or true love. i miss the sound of a plane. it's been four years. i want to fly away. Happy Prince. where are you? hint: oscar wilde is a genius.

i'm that kid that's yelling, 'who needs you!?' as you're walking away arm in arm with all your friends towards the yellow brick road. to hell with you and all your friends. wishwishwish i felt at ease. even here. oh dear. i'm everywhere i go. i cant get away. i dont want to go to school. don't make me go. even my new clothes aren't enough motivation. 'hey, thanks.' add a dash of a smile. i have nice teeth. atleast they tell me so. never had braces but had many teeth removed. clackityclackclack. morsecoded jaw. electric teeth. i want a lover i don't have to love. i am the liar. you are the lie. we are all sinners. i'll be your runaway bride and you can be my cheating fiancé. too bad. peter pan is my hero. 'hook or me this time' he said. 'to die would be a great adventure' he said, when hook threatened him. i believe that. live till you can and embrace death. but that doesn't stop death from being the cold marble floor you land on after you leap for the golden chandelier. we're not living in the movies, kid. but hey. i kind of like how that might turn out. like he said, all the true wish stars burn out. they're no such thing as true red. that's why blue is the second hottest part of the fire. white is too pure for anyone to touch. for anyone to muck up with all their feelings. feelings are leaky markers. white is the hottest part of the fire. but red and orange are the prettiest. god sets the forests on fire in the fall. just to lessen the number of actual harmful fires. he wants pain to teach us. not destroy us. toughen up. ahahah. all for one. and one for all. i never understood that. forgive me. 'unus pro omnibus, omnes pro uno' hey, atleast now i know what it is in latin. still doesn't make sense. go figure. my insides are copper. i'd kill to make them gold. i am selfish. but i bet saying this just made you like me more. or hate me less. funny how it all works out in the end.

i need somebody to say random stuff to. i have about 71 fall out boy songs on my ipod. i'll throw in random lyrics from their songs because they make my heart swoon and head spin. or maybe that's just the iron deficiency. I got my lucky number 8 out of the 100 it's supposed to be. I'm pretty happy. be my john cusak the one song i'd love to sing the second half of the duet with http://buzznet-99.vo.llnwd.net/assets/users15/wentzxxpete/default/Gabe_Saporta_Peter_Wentz--large-msg-117210485631.jpg i really do like that picture. peter wentz has this beaten-up beauty about him. he would be simply average pretty without the 'beaten-up' part. and i guess that's part of what keeps him up at night. people will dissect [you] till [it] doesn't mean a thing anymore. i'm a user and an abuser. i take what i want. and once you run out. we're done. be it your money, your charm, your popularity, maybe even your knowledge or sense of humour. i re-enter with 8000 threadcount apologies and win you back to take more. it's only fair. you stole all that i had. it's the revenge of the imagination box that was left out in the rain. i hide behind these words. i want to go for a run later today[it's2:48AM]. i don't know though. i'll be really tired and weak. right now i can't stand up well. my smile's an open wound without you. the boy i sort of liked told me he's going to ask out the most beautiful girl he knows tomorrow. and i know very, very well that it's not me. so i'm a little sad about that. but not as sad as i should be. thank you fall out boy. you saved more than latin. [you saved rushmore] don't you know who i think i am? oh. OH. oh. OH. it's not philosophy if you know it is. but wow, is it numb. what a waste of mindspace that boy is. you know logan, you really are a douchecunt. ahahahahaa. i keep my jealousy close. cause it's all m i n e [you look so good in blue. youlooksogoodinbluueeueue]

10 minutes, she says. i'm getting undeniable chills through my slouching spine. oh, no no. where is my posture? nothing to do today. i thought this was going to be four days of rest, no stress, and no anxiety. i have none of that. with only tomorrow left to devise a plan. to either climb up or let go. i feel bad, really. i am a passively mean person. 5 minutes echoes. where is my breath of fresh air? my new voice? hey. i have new clothes, atleast. it's not enough. i want a pea coat. a tight black woolen one. oh, wouldn't it be lovely? count me in and read me out. i should have done some cleaning today. ah well. don't make me go to school on tuesday. it's not worth it. take me somewhere out of the country. or even take me out to the lake nearby and lie to me and say we're in chicago. i'd believe you but i wouldn't belive in you oh. i need somebody to love. any takers? i'll paint my lips red for the occasion. instead of blue. because we're not. true blue. let's go take the groceries out of the car. come along come along. theduchessiswaiting