Tonight was spent mostly to myself. Not by choice unfortunately. I'm beginning to loose trust in people I wish I could rely on. They don't seem to care as much as I care for them. Story of my life. Oh well. At least there's Hannah. She rescued me for about an hour. Now I'm home, writing this thing that no one reads except me. Hopefully tomorrow I will have more human contact.

Today I drove that 2 hour route that is quite nice in the fall. There was still a little bit of color left. I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle that drive once all the leaves are gone. Unfortunately for now that's the highlight of my trip. When I arrived at my detination, I was delighted to see him. He makes the most beautiful music I've ever heard. I wonder where I would be artistically if he was never in my life. It's something I really don't like to think about. Then again, the subject we both dread came up again. This time I had the choice to get him out. Why the fuck would I want to do that? The reason we talk about this awful thing is because I care for him so much, probably too much. Luckily that incident lasted about 5mins. We movied on, and on, and on, and on, and probably won't stop until we can sit and look at each other and talk about the same dreaded subject as a memory, as something we can just laugh about years from now. I can't wait for that day.

...so I wrote this note. I'm not sure why. You already know how I feel. Maybe it's like a contract. You always feel better once it's signed. Hopefully this is the time where we begin again. I've always been a fan of fresh starts. Let's get moving.