January 22, 2012

  • I'm almost done reading The Perks of Being A Wallflower. I have about 20 pages left. I'm taking a break right now, because I don't want to read it anymore. I think something happened, and it made me cry. I don't want it to happen. I knew from the start. I've been thinking about High School. Every time I'm driving with a friend from High School, and we pass it, we (whoever it is) speak out at the same time. She'll say "I do not miss that place!" and I will say "I miss it." Especially my Senior year. That's when I was most self-aware. That's when my shell started to really break open. I had great classes. I had fun teachers. I had friends. Not outside-of-school friends. But I'd have somebody in every class who I could goof around with. Some memories of certain classes have a glow. Because I really felt great in those classes. Geology, in particular. I think that one glows the most. It was the easiest class of the year. We didn't get much work. And most of the in-class work was working with partners so everyone goofed off. I was friends with the people around me, none of which were Seniors. I had this crush on this Sophomore girl. I made cookies for a project, they had a lot of vanilla in them, so when I think of this class, and I feel the glow, I can almost smell and taste vanilla. I just miss High School. It was safe. It was planned. It was manditory. It wasn't like now, where you have to choose everything you do. I'm not even in college, because I am completely on my own. I can't do it. In High School, things are laid out for you. In general, I was pretty happy in High School. At least Senior year. I was sad a lot. But somehow that doesn't matter, because I was still happy about it. I realised something about my being sad. I always have a few days or a week of an overall sad feeling. I think these all correlate to the times when I was reading a book. I always become sad when I read. I become aware of my emotions. I think a lot more. It's as if I take off my mask to read a book. And when I get to the end of the book, I become even more sad. Then I finish the book, I mourn, and a day or two later, I'm cleaned, and my mask is put back on. I like this sad feeling. It's just . . . it's very refreshing. It makes me feel like someone from a book or an indie film. I'm not a robot, anymore. I'm me. Aurevoir
Add your thoughts

1 Comment

Add your thoughts

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!