• I saw Black Swan today. I didn't want to, but I saw it. I didn't hate it. It was so friggen weird though. I couldn't believe it. Not what I thought I was going to see, I can tell you that. ======= Being the gentleman I am, I held the door for everyone walking in the theater room. So I was the last of my friends. That meant that I ended up sitting at the end of the aisle. That made me feel alone, being at the end. But not only that, The person I sat next to was Mary's boyfriend. My least-friend of the group. So I couldn't play around and have fun, I just sat there the whole movie. So until the movie started, I sat in quiet, thinking about how alone I am. Fun, right? ========== When the "Water For Elephants" trailer came on, my mind lit up. "I WANT TO SEE THAT" But then I saw Robert Pattison. "Nevermind" I still want to see it. Maybe he won't be bad. I just wish he wasn't in it. ========= The "African Cats" trailer depressed me a bit. When the one lion nuzzled his head on the other lions... Damnit. It was at that moment I started to really feel alone ------------------ I just wanted someone who could sit next to me. To take the place of my coat (who was sitting on the chair next to me.) Sometimes that's all I want... Because I don't want a girlfriend. I don't want a relationship. I hate relationships. I just want a girl who is my friend. And we go to the movies all the time. And we go to IKEA and pretend we live there (Yes, like in 500 Days of Summer... but I've been doing that much longer than that movie. Me and my sister always did that when we were little kids at Colders or American). And There will be this strong connection between us. I feel it towards her. She feels it towards me. But we never say anything about it because it's our secret. And we grow so close that to an outsider, it looks like we are in a relationship, but really, we aren't. We're just that close. We would be allowed to like other people, and encourage the other to advance on it, but we never would. Not because we can't, but because we don't want to. Because there is only one bee in our bonnets. And that bee sits next to me/her at the cinema. And even though the stinging may hurt, we don't set it free, because the pain is worth it. The pain is just a reminder that someone important is in our lives. And when the pain is gone, so is that someone, and so is every that makes this life worthwhile.

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