This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
She could hear them fucking through
Those thin hotel walls
She heard babies crying,
She heard laughter, she heard sirens
Red and blue lights flashing
Through those cheap hotel drapes
Blood spilled out on the porcelain
The bath tub's over-flowing
Paralytic states of dependency
All waking life's just a living dream
Agitated states of amazement
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be
Spread out faced down on those
Stained cheap hotel sheets
She spent the last years of her life
Running from the boy she used to be
Cut her face wide open
Shaved the bone down thin
Plumped her lips up exaggerated
A fucked up kind of feminine
Paralytic states of dependency
All waking life's just a living dream
Agitated states of amazement
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be
Night time at the hotel there was fighting in the hall
Thin chain lock to keep the world out
She held her breath till it was gone
Standing naked in front of that hotel bathroom mirror
In her dysphoria's reflection
She still saw her mother's son
Paralytic states of dependency
All waking life's just a living dream
Agitated states of amazement
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be
By the time the ball dropped it was already over
By the time the ball dropped it was already over
No resolutions for the new year beginning tomorrow
Those thin hotel walls
She heard babies crying,
She heard laughter, she heard sirens
Red and blue lights flashing
Through those cheap hotel drapes
Blood spilled out on the porcelain
The bath tub's over-flowing
Paralytic states of dependency
All waking life's just a living dream
Agitated states of amazement
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be
Spread out faced down on those
Stained cheap hotel sheets
She spent the last years of her life
Running from the boy she used to be
Cut her face wide open
Shaved the bone down thin
Plumped her lips up exaggerated
A fucked up kind of feminine
Paralytic states of dependency
All waking life's just a living dream
Agitated states of amazement
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be
Night time at the hotel there was fighting in the hall
Thin chain lock to keep the world out
She held her breath till it was gone
Standing naked in front of that hotel bathroom mirror
In her dysphoria's reflection
She still saw her mother's son
Paralytic states of dependency
All waking life's just a living dream
Agitated states of amazement
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be
By the time the ball dropped it was already over
By the time the ball dropped it was already over
No resolutions for the new year beginning tomorrow
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I think your first comment is closer to being accurate. The singer/song writers state "Millions of eyes can see, yet why am i so blind!? When the someone else is me, its unkind its unkind". I believe hes referring to the girl toying with him and using him. He wants something deeper with her, thats why he allows himself to be as a puppet (even though for her fun and games) as long as it makes her happy. But he knows deep down that she doesnt really want to be serious with him and thats what makes him.
Magical
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How would you describe the feeling of being in love? For Ed Sheeran, the word is “Magical.” in HIS three-minute album opener, he makes an attempt to capture the beauty and delicacy of true love with words. He describes the magic of it all over a bright Pop song produced by Aaron Dessner.
Damn this is a sad song. I think HomoHominLupus hit it right on, but I just have to add...Laura Jane Grace did such an amazing job at creating scenery in this song. You really get a picture of what she sees & hears, and of course her emotions. Hopefully people will be inspired by Laura Jane Grace so less transgender suicides happen. </3
Pretty obvious what this one's about.
It's about a transsexual woman who kills herself in a hotel bathroom on New Year's Eve, apparently because her dysphoria was overwhelming. Quite a song.
absolutely, but can we all please abstain from trans-medicalist terms like "transsexaul"
No, I won't refrain from using the correct terms. I'm a transsexual man and it IS a medical condition.
@Dutchbouy Transsexualism is a specific branch within the transgender spectrum and it is the technical term. The only other term which I won't say here, also technically apply to all transgender people, not specifically transsexualism so if we didn't use this word, we wouldn't have one.<br />
some references that might be abstruse: I'm pretty sure "shaved the bone down" references facial feminization surgery wherein the bone in the face is shaved down, mostly around the forehead and eyebrows. Also I think "By the time the ball dropped, it was already over" references both the ball dropping on new years eve but also when a male's balls drop during puberty. Puberty sucks
I agree with greenday68 that Laura did a great job creating scenery here... Every detail is brilliantly vivid.
Brutal and painful lyrics "She spent the last years of her life running from the boy she used to be Cut her face wide open, shaved the bone down thin, plumped her lips up exaggerated, a fucked up kind of feminine"
The line "In her dysphoria's reflection she still saw her mother’s son." is painfully beatiful too. You get how she (the character) feels the burden of other people's perceptions of her which may not be true to who she really is: a woman.