She could hear them fucking through those thin hotel walls
She heard babies crying, she heard laughter, she heard sirens
Red and blue lights flashing through those cheap hotel drapes
Blood spilled out on the porcelain
The bathtub's overflowing

Paralytic states of dependency
All waking life's just a living dream
Agitated states of amazement
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be

Spread out faced down on those stained, cheap hotel sheets
She spent the last years of her life running from the boy she used to be
Cut her face wide open, shaved the bone down thin,
plumped her lips up exaggerated, a fucked up kind of feminine

Paralytic states of dependency
All waking life's just a living dream
Agitated states of amazement
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be

Night time at the hotel, there was fighting in the hall
Thin chain lock to keep the world out, she held her breath till it was gone
Standing naked in front of that hotel bathroom mirror,
In her dysphoria's reflection she still saw her mother’s son.

Paralytic states of dependency
All waking life’s just a living dream
Agitated states of amazement
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be

By the time the ball dropped, it was already over
By the time the ball dropped, it was already over
No resolutions for the new year beginning tomorrow



Lyrics submitted by Crane42, edited by baleu

Paralytic States song meanings
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4 Comments

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  • +3
    General CommentPretty obvious what this one's about.

    It's about a transsexual woman who kills herself in a hotel bathroom on New Year's Eve, apparently because her dysphoria was overwhelming. Quite a song.
    HomoHominiLupuson January 23, 2014   Link
  • +3
    General CommentDamn this is a sad song. I think HomoHominLupus hit it right on, but I just have to add...Laura Jane Grace did such an amazing job at creating scenery in this song. You really get a picture of what she sees & hears, and of course her emotions. Hopefully people will be inspired by Laura Jane Grace so less transgender suicides happen. greenday68on April 27, 2014   Link
  • +1
    Song Meaningsome references that might be abstruse:
    I'm pretty sure "shaved the bone down" references facial feminization surgery wherein the bone in the face is shaved down, mostly around the forehead and eyebrows.
    Also I think "By the time the ball dropped, it was already over" references both the ball dropping on new years eve but also when a male's balls drop during puberty. Puberty sucks
    Blacklemon67on January 29, 2014   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI agree with greenday68 that Laura did a great job creating scenery here... Every detail is brilliantly vivid.

    Brutal and painful lyrics
    "She spent the last years of her life running from the boy she used to be
    Cut her face wide open, shaved the bone down thin,
    plumped her lips up exaggerated, a fucked up kind of feminine"

    The line "In her dysphoria's reflection she still saw her mother’s son." is painfully beatiful too. You get how she (the character) feels the burden of other people's perceptions of her which may not be true to who she really is: a woman.
    MargaritaLon April 23, 2015   Link
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