Change

This song, like some of Banks's other tacks, is about emotional abuse in a relationship. It's being sung to an abusive ex and clearly lays out the Cycle of Abuse (also called the Cycle of Violence, which includes emotional violence).

She lists examples of the ways the abuser mistreats her/ his tactics to damage her self-esteem: "Cut me down" (put downs and insults) "Always calling me unstable" (training her not to show emotions that inconvenience him by shaming her for them) "You so easily can make me cry just cause you are in a mood" (when he is in a bad mood and needs to feel better, he pushes her buttons to bring her down so she feels even worse than he does).

"You would say I need attention / Just because I put on makeup / To ironically look good for you" (um yeah- trying to get HIS attention, but he suggests that she is trying to get other guys' attention because he is jealous like most abusers).

She also includes some of the abuser's excuses for his behavior: "Never guilty/ Say it ain't your fault / Because you had an emotionally abusive daddy/ And cause of this you don't know how to act." ....he is clearly blaming his abuse on the fact that he had a crappy role model (his dad) from whom he learned how to treat women. This is extremely common with abusers: blaming someone else so he doesn't have to take responsibility for the abuse; otherwise he would have to do something about it.

We hear more of his appeals to make her feel sorry for him so he can avoid taking responsibility: "Poor poor baby/ Say you can't help the fact that you're so crazy."

Then she demonstrates the Cycle of Abuse, where after he is abusive and she is fed up and wants to leave him, he keeps her roped in with what he says during the "Honeymoon Phase," which are empty promises that he will change: "Baby don't go" <---begging her to stay with him "I didn't know" <---lying that he didn't realize what he said/did would hurt her "I'll change I swear" <-- such BS...a false promise that he makes every time

"I'll make you wait" is her way of saying that he always takes so long to show signs of changing that- surprise!- it never happens at all.

Over time, this cycle just wears her down and she stays. The guy basically uses tactics to guilt trip her at this point every time she gets fed up and tries to assert her right to leave him: "And you're so good at making me feel guilty/ For trying to walk away / Because I'm tired of being mad." <---(she is getting worn down; anger takes too much energy). This is another form of abuse, actually: not respecting a person's right to end the relationship and manipulating them into staying, like he does.

Because the song is sung in the present, it suggests to me that the singer is aware of what is going on in the relationship, but is so drained and so stuck, that she just can't get out, and every time she tries he just pulls her back in.