Alter Boy

He’s an ol' altar boy
Lying out there in the street.
He’s an ol' alter boy
Bound up in leather and chains.
That’s why I’m feeling so blue.
I'm an old altar boy,
What about you?

Now, I can order in Latin.
Make ‘em au gratin, Joe.
I’m an old altar boy,
That’s why I’m so depressed.
I never got the rest of the dream,
Just the ritual,
Now I’m habitual,
Majoring in crimes that are unspeakable,
'Cause I’m an old altar boy.
That’s what happened to me.

I'm an old altar boy.
He’s hoping he can meet a woman dressed like a nun.
He knows there’s got to be some around here
Drinking across from the church,
A little Father Cribari wine
On a Sunday morn' time.

I'm an old altar boy.
Why is he winking at this time in his life?
He never took a wife, 'cause he’s an old altar boy.
Oh, yeah,
What about you?