This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
I have my hopes of how I would be after living in exile
after closing your eyes to me
I even wrote scenes where I re-emerged boldly, bearded alive
with eskimo eyes
new baby on my back
but I didn't count the fact that I have ghosts in my mind, stored away
great ghosts of my life
great ghosts of old wives
and their howling
so I spend my wilderness time, rolling on the ground
pulling my hair and wrestling them of
yelling at none, punching snow
I gathered ghosts and gave them my lecture, bid them away, I pleaded and cried
there's no room in my life for you or your howling
let my undo these ropes and go on living without you
not just change where I live
go on get, I said
I had my hopes of how I would be after sending them of
after getting set free
but there's no such thing as living without their prowling
as you can see, having descended the hill
I still look like me, I still wallow as Phil
and forever will
I'm teaming with ghosts and I still whining for wives, unkniting my brow
but now I've surrendered
In fact I've joined in
You can hear us howling
after closing your eyes to me
I even wrote scenes where I re-emerged boldly, bearded alive
with eskimo eyes
new baby on my back
but I didn't count the fact that I have ghosts in my mind, stored away
great ghosts of my life
great ghosts of old wives
and their howling
so I spend my wilderness time, rolling on the ground
pulling my hair and wrestling them of
yelling at none, punching snow
I gathered ghosts and gave them my lecture, bid them away, I pleaded and cried
there's no room in my life for you or your howling
let my undo these ropes and go on living without you
not just change where I live
go on get, I said
I had my hopes of how I would be after sending them of
after getting set free
but there's no such thing as living without their prowling
as you can see, having descended the hill
I still look like me, I still wallow as Phil
and forever will
I'm teaming with ghosts and I still whining for wives, unkniting my brow
but now I've surrendered
In fact I've joined in
You can hear us howling
Lyrics submitted by horsepowerhope
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lyrics I got
I had my hopes of how I would be after living in exile, after closing all eyes to me I have romanced scenes where I re-emerged boldly and bearded alive with eskimo eyes with new baby on my back, but from where? I did not count the fact that I have ghosts in my mind, stowaways great ghosts of my life great ghosts of old wives and their howling so I spent my wilderness time, pulling my hair, rolling on the ground wrestling them off yelling at no one, punching snow I gathered ghosts and gave them my lecture, I bid them away, pleaded and cried and said there's no room in my life for you or you or your howling let my undo these ropes and go on living without you not just change where we live go on get I had my hopes of how I would be after sending them off after getting set free but there's no such thing as living without their prowling so as you can see, having descended the hill I still look like me, I still wallow like Phil forever will I'm teaming with ghosts and I still whining for wives, unkniting my brow but now I've surrendered if you listen you can hear us howling
They are the right ones, notably on Eleven Old Songs.