"F-Hole" as written by and Difford,christopher/tilbrook,glenn....
I wrote her name on a bar mat
She had a peculiar bonnet,
But a youngish damsel figure
With her tongue tied to a trigger,
She seemed a total killer
Her face all filled with filler,
Her face a painting palette
I stomached all her habits,
Sipped her snow balls poshly like a judge
But left her lipstick traces on her mug.
We watched each other closely
She looks like Bela Lugosi,
She asked me for a ride home
I felt around for my comb,
And in the bar room mirror
I combed right through her figure,
She wiggled through the car park
Into the pit of my heart,
Sat herself beside me in my van
A ring on every finger of her hand.

She lived down by the river
A flat the council give her,
Wallpaper very scenic
Her outlook very beatnik,
We watched the close and weather
Then through the door he entered,
Short sleeves and arms of iron
And me with just my tie on,
She said the lodger's used to this by now
I'd handled all the bull but not the cow.

Behind her velvet sofa
I found myself back sober,
She kept an old acoustic
She never ever used it,
A gift for me with a capo
A six string with an f-hole,
We made the strangest couple
A Laurel and Hardy double,
I learnt to play her favorite country songs
With one or two chords always going wrong

Lyrics submitted by planetearth

"F-Hole" as written by Glenn Tilbrook Christopher Difford

Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

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F-Hole song meanings
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    General CommentA man describes a very unpleasant sounding interaction with a woman but he seems to have had an OK time.

    The melody is intentionally annoying, repeating a short pattern over and over. The lyrics are also intentionally annoying, with sudden segues forced by a need to create near rhymes.

    All told, the song is unpleasant in at least three ways, but the combined effect is humorous -- the line "looks like Bela Lugosi" stuck with me since I first heard it in 1981.

    "F hole" denotes a guitar, but was probably intended as an obscene wordplay.
    rikdadon November 21, 2006   Link

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