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and eye was like 13
and it was a Sunday morning eye think

eye think both my parents were still asleep

eye remember
eye was gonna play sick so eye wouldn't have to go to church that day

[don't stop]
[don't stop]

and eye turned over
and there he was

[my beloved]
[my beloved]

holding a pillow
he smelled of sweat & regret

and he said ....

Lyrics submitted by maggot261

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  • 0
    General CommentI think Otep is an excellent poet who knows just what to do to draw us in. That is why this track is the opening track. Its eerie and has a certain psychotic appeal to it. Also because is pulls you further into listening to the rest of the songs, it draws you due to the fact that everyone it attracted to "dangerous" and somewhat frightening.
    Empleteon July 06, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentThe beginning on the sexual abuse, perhaps? The connections between that and the religious fanatacism involved in her childhood, her family or whatever...?
    darkspoton June 21, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General CommentThis song makes my stomach hurt.
    defystarson June 30, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthis song is kool but it kinda pisses me off but everything pisses me off so its all koool
    cradleoffilth41592on January 12, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthis "song" makes me really sad. I agree with defystars... it makes me a little queezy.
    DresdenDarlingon June 15, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commenti guess she was molested as a child, and i think she enjoyed it. with the background lines (my beloved) and (don't stop) but i also think it did some damage to her. i can't realy tell.
    Nihasaon June 16, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI seriously doubt that she enjoyed any part of it. I think it's obvious that Otep was severely damaged by the things that happened to her during her childhood. No one enjoys rape or molestation. No one. If they did, it wouldn't be considered that. It would just be sex. I think the "my beloved" refers to the person that hurt her. Which would mean he was obviously some close to her. Many people continue loving and caring about the people that hurt them. That doesn't mean that they like the abuse.
    DresdenDarlingon August 03, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentHer father would rape her when she was younger.
    Goreloreon January 16, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General CommentOtep is just trying to open up to her fans by picking up a pen and writing about all the crap she has been through. I am the same way, if something happened long ago or now that hurt me and damaged me I would write it down, and I wouldn't care what people thought it ment. I think Otep is just writing to herself, AND to the person who did these horrible things to her. I do agree with some of you that she didn't enjoy it, and that she still had feelings for this person because he was too close to lose. I never had a father, so I wouldn't know how any of this feels like to her, but I am sure if I did have my father and he raped me I would still love him because he's my FATHER. And I think she believes that everyone should love their father. She is hipnotized by society to still love her father when she can hate him so easily. If I am wrong... oh well.
    HEDplanetearthon August 26, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General CommentOh wow, oh boy, so she's writing to herself? Interesting. But she puts it on an album that gets sold to the public, and plays it live to audiences, and enjoys all the income it gets her.

    But it's just for herself.

    If you're going to write something, make some damned sense.

    I used to be pretty into Otep (because of some of her more meaningful songs), but then I started watching some of her vlogs, and I got the distinct impression that she's a poser. She's not the angry, anti-religion person she sounds like in her music. She's ass-kissy and dimure.
    despondenton November 17, 2009   Link

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