I saw this as about a man (first person) who grew up with a girl he knew from a distance (neighbour or at school) but as an adult is left in a flat, unemployed, on the dole and with no prospects.
He's got little to do all day so he watches those around him, winding himself up with jealousy over a long time because they made something of their lives while he can't get himself out of his trap. Its mounted up so high and he consoles himself that he'll somehow outdo them all and 'get his revenge' on them. Really, he's getting revenge on the sense of inadequacy and defeat that's grown to unhealthily consume him.
He imagines the one girl wanting him and still composes critical notices on himself like he did as a child. But now they're about how he's fictitiously got the girl and has revenge on her husband/boyfriend, taking everything that's his and shaming him. Just because the husband/boyfriend has the life that the first person wants. He'll fantasises that he'll take the girl and give her the life he wants her to want: a life with him.
But he can't, it's an impossible plan, borne of that sadness and loneliness that over time turns to resentment of others. He'll always remain the man in the flat watching others out of the window or walking alone amongst them.
I saw this as about a man (first person) who grew up with a girl he knew from a distance (neighbour or at school) but as an adult is left in a flat, unemployed, on the dole and with no prospects.
He's got little to do all day so he watches those around him, winding himself up with jealousy over a long time because they made something of their lives while he can't get himself out of his trap. Its mounted up so high and he consoles himself that he'll somehow outdo them all and 'get his revenge' on them. Really, he's getting revenge on the sense of inadequacy and defeat that's grown to unhealthily consume him.
He imagines the one girl wanting him and still composes critical notices on himself like he did as a child. But now they're about how he's fictitiously got the girl and has revenge on her husband/boyfriend, taking everything that's his and shaming him. Just because the husband/boyfriend has the life that the first person wants. He'll fantasises that he'll take the girl and give her the life he wants her to want: a life with him.
But he can't, it's an impossible plan, borne of that sadness and loneliness that over time turns to resentment of others. He'll always remain the man in the flat watching others out of the window or walking alone amongst them.