This song grips me by the throat. It's about alcohol addiction, no doubt, I have seen this with a friend. He drank so much that he bled from his stomac. ("hemorrharging has ceased"). He almost died. He had to take capsules to prevent him from drinking, they made him really sick, when he tried to drink. He knew he had to, to try and stay sober and become healthy again ("regain my grip"). He was so addicted that even with Disulfiram (Antabus or Refusal) he was still drinking, even though it made him so incredibly sick. Terrible. ("Swallowed myself sick")
"Saints check in": his buddy from the AA.
"And I couldn't have seen, all these pictures of me"
"But I needed to (I needed to), and I needed to, I..."
"Couldn't find a better way, couldn't find a better way"
"To lie..."
My friend was also so drunk, so far gone, that he couldn't remember whole days/weeks, and the things he did. But he needed to know, to be able to heal, to see the person he didn't want to be anymore. He was so ashamed that he lied a lot, he hurt a lot of people.
It's still a struggle...
This song grips me by the throat. It's about alcohol addiction, no doubt, I have seen this with a friend. He drank so much that he bled from his stomac. ("hemorrharging has ceased"). He almost died. He had to take capsules to prevent him from drinking, they made him really sick, when he tried to drink. He knew he had to, to try and stay sober and become healthy again ("regain my grip"). He was so addicted that even with Disulfiram (Antabus or Refusal) he was still drinking, even though it made him so incredibly sick. Terrible. ("Swallowed myself sick") "Saints check in": his buddy from the AA. "And I couldn't have seen, all these pictures of me" "But I needed to (I needed to), and I needed to, I..." "Couldn't find a better way, couldn't find a better way" "To lie..." My friend was also so drunk, so far gone, that he couldn't remember whole days/weeks, and the things he did. But he needed to know, to be able to heal, to see the person he didn't want to be anymore. He was so ashamed that he lied a lot, he hurt a lot of people. It's still a struggle...