So I finally understand now. She is saying: I had to watch my tone from fear of having you feel judged.
His wife is in the emergency room because he did something to her, beat her, punched her something like that.
The chorus is not necessarily about them two(him and Alanis), but about him and his wife. That he hoped that everything would be ok in their relationship but it's not.
And she talks about how she has changed to become a better person, with dieting, not responding to patronising even when they make you feel small (and you are all pigtails and cords). And that how she doesn't believe in good or bad and revenge, but she would have a hard time feeling compassion for the man that did bad but got bad back.
So I finally understand now. She is saying: I had to watch my tone from fear of having you feel judged. His wife is in the emergency room because he did something to her, beat her, punched her something like that. The chorus is not necessarily about them two(him and Alanis), but about him and his wife. That he hoped that everything would be ok in their relationship but it's not. And she talks about how she has changed to become a better person, with dieting, not responding to patronising even when they make you feel small (and you are all pigtails and cords). And that how she doesn't believe in good or bad and revenge, but she would have a hard time feeling compassion for the man that did bad but got bad back.