Your lover may check boxes that refer to short-term fun, but there might be some boxes you aren't paying attention to. They may have to do with his giving your life more meaning, giving you assistance in navigating life, and giving you the courage to be or do what you didn't think you could. Don't forget what's important to you. Does he? Does he remind you of your priorities and interests when you lose track? Don't lose your identity to someone else's. Are you losing your identity in his or in he assisting you in realizing who you are? Does he bring out the best in you? Be with someone who helps you pursue your interests and concerns and helps you become the person you imagine you can be. "Put your love to the test" isn't about being a tease or a brat to see if he'll stay with you anyway, or to see how much you can get him to spend on you. Rather it's about extending the checklist to more profound assessments of what you're getting out of the relationship. It's not just about whether this is the guy who will visit you in the hospital when your friends won't or is there for you when the chips are down, but also someone who enjoys your intellect, someone you're safe to be smart around? Is he someone who wants you to succeed, not just bend to help you up but enable you to go farther. Who knows? Maybe that describes him already and he was just waiting for you to notice.
Your lover may check boxes that refer to short-term fun, but there might be some boxes you aren't paying attention to. They may have to do with his giving your life more meaning, giving you assistance in navigating life, and giving you the courage to be or do what you didn't think you could. Don't forget what's important to you. Does he? Does he remind you of your priorities and interests when you lose track? Don't lose your identity to someone else's. Are you losing your identity in his or in he assisting you in realizing who you are? Does he bring out the best in you? Be with someone who helps you pursue your interests and concerns and helps you become the person you imagine you can be. "Put your love to the test" isn't about being a tease or a brat to see if he'll stay with you anyway, or to see how much you can get him to spend on you. Rather it's about extending the checklist to more profound assessments of what you're getting out of the relationship. It's not just about whether this is the guy who will visit you in the hospital when your friends won't or is there for you when the chips are down, but also someone who enjoys your intellect, someone you're safe to be smart around? Is he someone who wants you to succeed, not just bend to help you up but enable you to go farther. Who knows? Maybe that describes him already and he was just waiting for you to notice.
[Edit: spelling]