It seems obvious to me that this song is about suicide*. First, the song name, "One Way Trigger" - it's a one way trip, he's not coming back.
"Please please don't point it that way, it's just a trigger that goes once and you'll be unafraid" - this is awkwardly phrased because it's unclear if he's talking to someone else or two sides of himself, but it's at least clear that he doesn't want to be afraid anymore, and this trigger going once will do that.
"Tell me, tell me won't you understand, show me show me show me a better plan" - at multiple points in the song, it sounds like someone (or he himself) is trying to talk him out of it ("please don't point it that way", "you asked me to stay", etc), and this is him asking them to accept his decision, because he doesn't think they CAN "show me a better plan", he's saying "I have no choice/there's no better way" or "This will fix everything" (by ending it).
"I wish that I'd been noticed, but it, it never goes that way" - this is a pretty clear feeling of isolation, as though they feel overlooked either in general or by a specific person. It could even be "I wish they'd have noticed what I was going to do and cared enough to stop me".
"Find a <thing>" - this seems to be a feeling of apathy towards "normal" life goals - a job, a home, a partner, settling down, etc. It sounds like he either doesn't see the point, or doesn't see himself wanting or perhaps being able to do those things.
"I've waited for your love, can't wait no longer" - this seems to tie into "the silence that you brought has gone" and maybe even the wanting to be noticed bit. People with a history of trauma sometimes take breakups really hard, because they felt that their partner "fixed" them or helped them deal with the trauma, and losing them can mean having to confront that trauma again while also feeling the same pain we all feel during a breakup. They silenced his demons, but now that silence is gone, and though they tried to repair the relationship, they can't wait any longer, they can't deal with the pain anymore.
.....
Some of these arguments are stronger than others, and it can be difficult to figure out Julian's meaning due to his "stream of consciousness" writing style. That said, there's a sense of wanting "it" to end here, with a real feeling of permanence, and given the context of the "normal" life he's mocking, as well as the messages of loss and isolation, it seems to me that the "it" he's wanting to end is life. At the very least, he's extremely depressed and feels he "can't wait no longer".
.....
*
A final note: suicide is never the answer (unless you're terminally ill). It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. No matter how down you are, it's possible to come back from it as long as you're still alive - you CAN be happy again. This is doubly important for parents - if you have a child, you need to try to put aside your own pain and think about them, because the pain of losing you will be much, much worse than what you're going through (speaking from experience on that).
If you feel you can't go on, please at least try calling 988, or 800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Lifeline - you have nothing to lose by doing so, aren't you at least curious what they have to say? Just give them 5 minutes.
If you are part of a highly at-risk group like Veterans, Trans or Teens, and feel like they won't understand what you're going through, try these special services designed specifically for these groups.
Veterans Crisis Line: Same as above (988), but press 1 upon connecting
Trans Lifeline: Trans-to-trans - 877–565–8860
Youthline: Teen-to-teen - 877-968-8491
Crisis Text Line: Text "HOME" to 741741
It seems obvious to me that this song is about suicide*. First, the song name, "One Way Trigger" - it's a one way trip, he's not coming back.
"Please please don't point it that way, it's just a trigger that goes once and you'll be unafraid" - this is awkwardly phrased because it's unclear if he's talking to someone else or two sides of himself, but it's at least clear that he doesn't want to be afraid anymore, and this trigger going once will do that.
"Tell me, tell me won't you understand, show me show me show me a better plan" - at multiple points in the song, it sounds like someone (or he himself) is trying to talk him out of it ("please don't point it that way", "you asked me to stay", etc), and this is him asking them to accept his decision, because he doesn't think they CAN "show me a better plan", he's saying "I have no choice/there's no better way" or "This will fix everything" (by ending it).
"I wish that I'd been noticed, but it, it never goes that way" - this is a pretty clear feeling of isolation, as though they feel overlooked either in general or by a specific person. It could even be "I wish they'd have noticed what I was going to do and cared enough to stop me".
"Find a <thing>" - this seems to be a feeling of apathy towards "normal" life goals - a job, a home, a partner, settling down, etc. It sounds like he either doesn't see the point, or doesn't see himself wanting or perhaps being able to do those things.
"I've waited for your love, can't wait no longer" - this seems to tie into "the silence that you brought has gone" and maybe even the wanting to be noticed bit. People with a history of trauma sometimes take breakups really hard, because they felt that their partner "fixed" them or helped them deal with the trauma, and losing them can mean having to confront that trauma again while also feeling the same pain we all feel during a breakup. They silenced his demons, but now that silence is gone, and though they tried to repair the relationship, they can't wait any longer, they can't deal with the pain anymore.
.....
Some of these arguments are stronger than others, and it can be difficult to figure out Julian's meaning due to his "stream of consciousness" writing style. That said, there's a sense of wanting "it" to end here, with a real feeling of permanence, and given the context of the "normal" life he's mocking, as well as the messages of loss and isolation, it seems to me that the "it" he's wanting to end is life. At the very least, he's extremely depressed and feels he "can't wait no longer".
..... * A final note: suicide is never the answer (unless you're terminally ill). It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. No matter how down you are, it's possible to come back from it as long as you're still alive - you CAN be happy again. This is doubly important for parents - if you have a child, you need to try to put aside your own pain and think about them, because the pain of losing you will be much, much worse than what you're going through (speaking from experience on that).
If you feel you can't go on, please at least try calling 988, or 800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Lifeline - you have nothing to lose by doing so, aren't you at least curious what they have to say? Just give them 5 minutes.
If you are part of a highly at-risk group like Veterans, Trans or Teens, and feel like they won't understand what you're going through, try these special services designed specifically for these groups.
Veterans Crisis Line: Same as above (988), but press 1 upon connecting Trans Lifeline: Trans-to-trans - 877–565–8860 Youthline: Teen-to-teen - 877-968-8491 Crisis Text Line: Text "HOME" to 741741
If you're not in the US, try this page: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines