For me, it's about a struggle with deep mental illness, probably depression. Specifically:
"For years and years you fought to try to light your darkness with a reason."
Boy do I feel that some days.
Also, the things that people reach for when they're in a deep, dark place. Specifically:
"Maybe a woman someday, maybe even a child to hold and help and start over again."
The rest of it describes my life to a T when I was deep in depression, married, and living with my ex partner.
"And we run and we gun and we die young" - Always something going on, life is busy especially when you're living with mental illness.
"And we curse and we crush and we hide" - Adds to the "life is busy" bit. You curse the things you have to do to live, but you crush them because you have to, and then, out of spoons, you hide away to recharge.
"And we fight and we fuck and we make up" - This describes the disagreement, fight, resolution, make up pattern in a relationship. Living with mental illness, you go through this cycle A LOT with your partner.
"And we love and we shove it aside" - in the end, you remember that you love each other and push the fight aside because in the end, it's insignificant compared to a lifetime of love with your partner.
It's almost like "there's a war inside me, I tried to fix it with all these things, but in the end, what matters is the love of my partner, friends, and family."
For me, it's about a struggle with deep mental illness, probably depression. Specifically:
"For years and years you fought to try to light your darkness with a reason."
Boy do I feel that some days.
Also, the things that people reach for when they're in a deep, dark place. Specifically:
"Maybe a woman someday, maybe even a child to hold and help and start over again."
The rest of it describes my life to a T when I was deep in depression, married, and living with my ex partner.
"And we run and we gun and we die young" - Always something going on, life is busy especially when you're living with mental illness.
"And we curse and we crush and we hide" - Adds to the "life is busy" bit. You curse the things you have to do to live, but you crush them because you have to, and then, out of spoons, you hide away to recharge.
"And we fight and we fuck and we make up" - This describes the disagreement, fight, resolution, make up pattern in a relationship. Living with mental illness, you go through this cycle A LOT with your partner.
"And we love and we shove it aside" - in the end, you remember that you love each other and push the fight aside because in the end, it's insignificant compared to a lifetime of love with your partner.
It's almost like "there's a war inside me, I tried to fix it with all these things, but in the end, what matters is the love of my partner, friends, and family."
I am in LOVE with this song.