I lived this. This song came out in 1999 when I was 18. I really think it came out before August b/c that’s when my fiance died (Fri 13th). For some reason this used to happen to me a lot. i would hear a song that would describe my circumstances exactly. My fiance Gary had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. I lived with him and his family for the last 9 months of his life. Let me explain this song at dace value which is how I lived it: It overshadows everything. Especially when they’re in the hospital. And you do feel sometimes that you want to run (“put this ring on my finger/so tight it turns blue/a constant reminder/I’ll die in this room if you die in this room”j which is something I did a week before he died. I blew off seeing him to go to a party. When he confronted me on it, I said the truth: I was scared. He yelled “don’t you think I’m scared?” and he was so right. But there’s still that sickness “I gave it a home” inside you whether or not you are “fight[ing] for [your] own heart.” I could go out with my friends like a normal person to a party but not a minute went by that I didn’t feel the hourglass sifting. The sad thing? He was my soul mate. I’m 41 now, I’ve never found anyone else I wanted to marry. He was everything. Ao the sad part is that last August it was 23 years (older than either of us were when he died) and the size of our love was so huge that even today “our love is the size of [that] hole in the ground, where my heart’s buried now.” (For Gary Michael Jacobs 11/10/78 to 8/13/99)
I lived this. This song came out in 1999 when I was 18. I really think it came out before August b/c that’s when my fiance died (Fri 13th). For some reason this used to happen to me a lot. i would hear a song that would describe my circumstances exactly. My fiance Gary had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. I lived with him and his family for the last 9 months of his life. Let me explain this song at dace value which is how I lived it: It overshadows everything. Especially when they’re in the hospital. And you do feel sometimes that you want to run (“put this ring on my finger/so tight it turns blue/a constant reminder/I’ll die in this room if you die in this room”j which is something I did a week before he died. I blew off seeing him to go to a party. When he confronted me on it, I said the truth: I was scared. He yelled “don’t you think I’m scared?” and he was so right. But there’s still that sickness “I gave it a home” inside you whether or not you are “fight[ing] for [your] own heart.” I could go out with my friends like a normal person to a party but not a minute went by that I didn’t feel the hourglass sifting. The sad thing? He was my soul mate. I’m 41 now, I’ve never found anyone else I wanted to marry. He was everything. Ao the sad part is that last August it was 23 years (older than either of us were when he died) and the size of our love was so huge that even today “our love is the size of [that] hole in the ground, where my heart’s buried now.” (For Gary Michael Jacobs 11/10/78 to 8/13/99)
@OGRiotGrrrl Deepest sympathies on your ongoing loss. At least this song, for one, could capture just some of all your feelings.
@OGRiotGrrrl Deepest sympathies on your ongoing loss. At least this song, for one, could capture just some of all your feelings.