I think “Musically Mandated…” really nailed it. I just want to add that there’s an extra-painful level of irony that this “good memory” of theirs/hers of her mother putting on makeup—which many children do w/ mothers or older siblings they look up to, and which I believe is legitimately a good memory—probably was often, at least sometimes, being done to hide the bruises from the abuse. This is a gut-wrenching, powerful song (I likes it before I read the lyrics, and could only “hear” them partly before that, and what made me dig into the actual lyrics was the tone of the “speaker” not matching up w/ what “real love” indicates, and the music, itself, showing pain contrasted w/ love… Big Thief is so talented, in short). This must have been a difficult song to write and cathartic to perform… there’s so much more here than, “my mother was abused and I was powerless,” even, and that would be enough! There’s also this, so sadly true, observation/examination/explanation of how children learn what love is and is supposed to look like from their parents, and the fact we can infer that the speaker isn’t past that erroneous conception completely yet… even the example of “real love turns your lungs black,” how their mother must have clung to her cigarettes as a small pleasure of her own, the tiniest escape, and really loved smoking!! So many unhealthy things and people and ways for children to learn to love… this song, so layered, so powerful… wow
I think “Musically Mandated…” really nailed it. I just want to add that there’s an extra-painful level of irony that this “good memory” of theirs/hers of her mother putting on makeup—which many children do w/ mothers or older siblings they look up to, and which I believe is legitimately a good memory—probably was often, at least sometimes, being done to hide the bruises from the abuse. This is a gut-wrenching, powerful song (I likes it before I read the lyrics, and could only “hear” them partly before that, and what made me dig into the actual lyrics was the tone of the “speaker” not matching up w/ what “real love” indicates, and the music, itself, showing pain contrasted w/ love… Big Thief is so talented, in short). This must have been a difficult song to write and cathartic to perform… there’s so much more here than, “my mother was abused and I was powerless,” even, and that would be enough! There’s also this, so sadly true, observation/examination/explanation of how children learn what love is and is supposed to look like from their parents, and the fact we can infer that the speaker isn’t past that erroneous conception completely yet… even the example of “real love turns your lungs black,” how their mother must have clung to her cigarettes as a small pleasure of her own, the tiniest escape, and really loved smoking!! So many unhealthy things and people and ways for children to learn to love… this song, so layered, so powerful… wow