I think this song is Gavin wishing he wasn\'t bi/didn\'t have to hide because he\'s famous.. but really when people don\'t feel safe coming out it\'s almost always because of negative conditioning during childhood. In their mind, coming out = annihalation.\n\n/\n/\n\n\nfirst verse is the struggle of carrying internalized homophobia/biphobia, gaslighting yourself about your own sexuality, wishing you could just be straight... \n\n/\n/\n\nHe\'s confused how strong his attractions for women are. Lots of bi/gay guys go through this, usually because they were conditioned to pursue women by external forces rather than purely external desires. Thus, there\'s a risk that I\'m exaggerating my attraction to them in order to minimize my homoeroticism. \n\n/\n/\n\n"And it never seems enough" basically implies that he might prefer men sexually/romantically. \n\n/\n/\n\n"Splinter left focus right" is his attempt to suppress/shatter/ruin his homoeroticism in favor of heterosexuality.. Gay/bi people are more likely to be left-handed, and similarly there\'s been a long tradition of prejudice against left-handers. \n\n\n\nI think the whole "mortal" part is him being a guy, and feeling existential terror because growing up being gay was associated with being hate-crimed or otherwise bad outcome. By convincing himself he\'s straight he has a false sense of security, as there are people who wish violence on non-heterosexuals..
I think this song is Gavin wishing he wasn\'t bi/didn\'t have to hide because he\'s famous.. but really when people don\'t feel safe coming out it\'s almost always because of negative conditioning during childhood. In their mind, coming out = annihalation.\n\n/\n/\n\n\nfirst verse is the struggle of carrying internalized homophobia/biphobia, gaslighting yourself about your own sexuality, wishing you could just be straight... \n\n/\n/\n\nHe\'s confused how strong his attractions for women are. Lots of bi/gay guys go through this, usually because they were conditioned to pursue women by external forces rather than purely external desires. Thus, there\'s a risk that I\'m exaggerating my attraction to them in order to minimize my homoeroticism. \n\n/\n/\n\n"And it never seems enough" basically implies that he might prefer men sexually/romantically. \n\n/\n/\n\n"Splinter left focus right" is his attempt to suppress/shatter/ruin his homoeroticism in favor of heterosexuality.. Gay/bi people are more likely to be left-handed, and similarly there\'s been a long tradition of prejudice against left-handers. \n\n\n\nI think the whole "mortal" part is him being a guy, and feeling existential terror because growing up being gay was associated with being hate-crimed or otherwise bad outcome. By convincing himself he\'s straight he has a false sense of security, as there are people who wish violence on non-heterosexuals..