To me, this song is about dealing with depression. Specifically, the way depression robs its victim of joy in things that most people would find meaningful or thrilling, and instills suicidal thoughts.
For me, the most powerful moment of the song was "she will tell me she loves me, that she won't ever stop; but I wanna die in this moment, I wanna die." For anyone else, this moment would be one of elation, but for someone struggling with depression, the relationship becomes like.... another thing to deal with on top of everything else. It becomes impossible to see the good in it, only the difficulties. The tremendous downsides. The potential to hurt and be hurt. He fears that because of his mental illness, he might not be enough for his partner ("and if I stay with you, do you believe that I'll pull through?") and rather than deal with all of that, he would rather exit in a way that frees him from having to hurt her directly. Of course, she would still be terribly hurt if he vanished. WE the listeners understand that possibility. And that tension between the listener's expectations and the speaker's perception belie the difficulties of treating someone with a mental illness that tells them that people would be better off without them around. When you're beaten down by a disease that only lets you feel the negative side of even the most positive experiences, by the end of it the only thing you're able to desire is an end.
I come back to this song more than I care to admit.
To me, this song is about dealing with depression. Specifically, the way depression robs its victim of joy in things that most people would find meaningful or thrilling, and instills suicidal thoughts.
For me, the most powerful moment of the song was "she will tell me she loves me, that she won't ever stop; but I wanna die in this moment, I wanna die." For anyone else, this moment would be one of elation, but for someone struggling with depression, the relationship becomes like.... another thing to deal with on top of everything else. It becomes impossible to see the good in it, only the difficulties. The tremendous downsides. The potential to hurt and be hurt. He fears that because of his mental illness, he might not be enough for his partner ("and if I stay with you, do you believe that I'll pull through?") and rather than deal with all of that, he would rather exit in a way that frees him from having to hurt her directly. Of course, she would still be terribly hurt if he vanished. WE the listeners understand that possibility. And that tension between the listener's expectations and the speaker's perception belie the difficulties of treating someone with a mental illness that tells them that people would be better off without them around. When you're beaten down by a disease that only lets you feel the negative side of even the most positive experiences, by the end of it the only thing you're able to desire is an end.
I come back to this song more than I care to admit.