This is one of AiC's saddest songs in my opinion.
As others have stated, I believe this song is about Jerry Cantrell's memories of his mother's last days. But I'm going to analyse it verse-by-verse:
Am I too contagious? (Jerry asking himself if his negativity affects others too much)
Full of sick desire (His negativity. I don't know exactly what he means by this, but the rest of the lyrics seem to indicate my interpretation)
Am I that I promise? (questioning if he's strong enough to handle her death)
Burning corpsed pyre (I believe this is a general vision of death and his fear of it, a burning corpse pyre)
Then some dude came down to touch the Mother (his father coming down to his senses to support his mother)
Mother touched, and dude ain't here no more (But his father very coldly just touches Jerry's mother a little then leaves)
Suck your woman down (sarcastically asking his father to treat her worse, as if he isn't treating her bad enough already)
He's very critical of his father in this song, remember this song was recorded way before Rooster (a homage to his father), when they made peace with eachother.
Am I your reflection? (Jerry realizing how similar he is to his mother)
Melting mirror smile (both of them smiling a sad smile at eachother, as both of them know she's dying)
Am I worth the value? (Jerry asking himself if he deserves to have a mother)
Do my love defile? (asking if his love will fade)
Then some dude came down to touch the Mother
Mother touched, and dude ain't here no more
Ain't no day the sun don't crack (there was no day that wasn't sad when his mother was dying, his father contributing to this, as this is placed in the same verse of the other lines about him)
Then to brand some name across my back, so you care? (yet his father has named Jerry after himself)
Find someone to tell you (Jerry thinks his father is that cold because no one ever told him what he is about to mention)
Sunshine... sweet love, my labor (his mother addressing Jerry at her deathbed, telling him he is the fruit her labor)
Don't mind... I don't care no more (she tells him to not mind her death, as she herself has already accepted it)
Memory, set me free, yeah (he's trying to forget the pain her death caused him)
I don't care no more (remembering her words once again)
Mother please, come for me (asking his mother to come back)
Can you face the question? (facing the question of not knowing when we will die)
Is my soul entire? (is his soul entire now that she died)
Sunshine...sweet love, my labor
Don't mind... I don't care no more
@kachimbo11 I think you nailed it with your interpretation. I agree with most but will add just a couple items.
@kachimbo11 I think you nailed it with your interpretation. I agree with most but will add just a couple items.
Full of sick desire - either: he wishes so hard that his mother was back that it's affecting his life in general, he himself said he doesn't know how to function now that his mother is gone. OR - Conversely, this loss has caused him to run to a life of excess as a way of trying to cover up and blunt his feelings and emotions over her death (much like people "pour themselves into their work"). This lifestyle has...
Full of sick desire - either: he wishes so hard that his mother was back that it's affecting his life in general, he himself said he doesn't know how to function now that his mother is gone. OR - Conversely, this loss has caused him to run to a life of excess as a way of trying to cover up and blunt his feelings and emotions over her death (much like people "pour themselves into their work"). This lifestyle has allowed him to give in to debauched excesses that most would perhaps consider him to be "full of sick desire," i.e., the worse (for him), the better. He may feel so inconsolable and lost, but he "don't mind...I don't care no more." He's so numb at this point, that he feels numb to the awful things he's now doing. See, Jerry acts like a badass mofo rocker, but deep down, I don't think that's really who he is. I think he just went there because at that point in his life he had nothing else. Layne scooped him up when he was at his lowest point, and the rocked the world together. And when the opportunity for said debauchery presented itself, he grabbed it with both hands, even though it might not actually have been something he would have gravitated toward.
Am I that I promise? - I think this is based on his promise to his mother to become famous, make money, buy her a house so that she'd never have to work another day in her life (which she had to do to keep the 4 of them all afloat). But now that she's gone, he is unable to fulfill his promise to her, and he feels guilty about that.
Am I worth the value? - this may be Jerry asking himself if he's worth living at this point, what's the use, everyone he loves has died. He's living this weird lifestyle that he likes, but at the same time he feels kind of guilty about it, because many people might look down upon it, so he wonders if he's even worth being around anymore.
Do my love defile? - Wondering if he'll follow the same path as his father when it comes to women - doing hurtful things to them, breaking their hearts, leaving them behind, acting uncaring. Again, I think Jerry WANTS a long term relationship, but his lifestyle (in his own words) as turned him into a "wolf" where he just goes in for the kill, and then moves on.
Memory, set me free - I think he's reverting back to his memories with his mother because that's when his life was happy, peaceful, and carefree. The memories he had from then take him away from this new world of pain, uncertainty and death.
I don't care no more - he's numb, emotionless, doesn't really care one way or another what happens to him.
Is my soul entire? - he feels as if his soul has been ripped out of him, or broken in pieces. He can't seem to reconcile continuing through his life feeling the way he does, broken.
I've always had a heart for Jerry - he gets deserted by his father, loses the 2 people closest to him at a young age, then gets rescued by the most amazing person he's ever met, only to watch said rescuer die a long, slow, agonizing, self-inflicted death, crushing all of Jerry's dreams and goals in the process, forcing Jerry to do things he never wanted to do, and go forward with a limping band of friends that's never been the same since the rescuer died. WHAT a life he's had.
This is one of AiC's saddest songs in my opinion. As others have stated, I believe this song is about Jerry Cantrell's memories of his mother's last days. But I'm going to analyse it verse-by-verse:
Am I too contagious? (Jerry asking himself if his negativity affects others too much) Full of sick desire (His negativity. I don't know exactly what he means by this, but the rest of the lyrics seem to indicate my interpretation) Am I that I promise? (questioning if he's strong enough to handle her death) Burning corpsed pyre (I believe this is a general vision of death and his fear of it, a burning corpse pyre)
Then some dude came down to touch the Mother (his father coming down to his senses to support his mother) Mother touched, and dude ain't here no more (But his father very coldly just touches Jerry's mother a little then leaves) Suck your woman down (sarcastically asking his father to treat her worse, as if he isn't treating her bad enough already)
He's very critical of his father in this song, remember this song was recorded way before Rooster (a homage to his father), when they made peace with eachother.
Am I your reflection? (Jerry realizing how similar he is to his mother) Melting mirror smile (both of them smiling a sad smile at eachother, as both of them know she's dying) Am I worth the value? (Jerry asking himself if he deserves to have a mother) Do my love defile? (asking if his love will fade)
Then some dude came down to touch the Mother Mother touched, and dude ain't here no more Ain't no day the sun don't crack (there was no day that wasn't sad when his mother was dying, his father contributing to this, as this is placed in the same verse of the other lines about him)
Then to brand some name across my back, so you care? (yet his father has named Jerry after himself) Find someone to tell you (Jerry thinks his father is that cold because no one ever told him what he is about to mention) Sunshine... sweet love, my labor (his mother addressing Jerry at her deathbed, telling him he is the fruit her labor) Don't mind... I don't care no more (she tells him to not mind her death, as she herself has already accepted it)
Memory, set me free, yeah (he's trying to forget the pain her death caused him) I don't care no more (remembering her words once again) Mother please, come for me (asking his mother to come back)
Can you face the question? (facing the question of not knowing when we will die) Is my soul entire? (is his soul entire now that she died) Sunshine...sweet love, my labor Don't mind... I don't care no more
@kachimbo11 I think you nailed it with your interpretation. I agree with most but will add just a couple items.
@kachimbo11 I think you nailed it with your interpretation. I agree with most but will add just a couple items.
Full of sick desire - either: he wishes so hard that his mother was back that it's affecting his life in general, he himself said he doesn't know how to function now that his mother is gone. OR - Conversely, this loss has caused him to run to a life of excess as a way of trying to cover up and blunt his feelings and emotions over her death (much like people "pour themselves into their work"). This lifestyle has...
Full of sick desire - either: he wishes so hard that his mother was back that it's affecting his life in general, he himself said he doesn't know how to function now that his mother is gone. OR - Conversely, this loss has caused him to run to a life of excess as a way of trying to cover up and blunt his feelings and emotions over her death (much like people "pour themselves into their work"). This lifestyle has allowed him to give in to debauched excesses that most would perhaps consider him to be "full of sick desire," i.e., the worse (for him), the better. He may feel so inconsolable and lost, but he "don't mind...I don't care no more." He's so numb at this point, that he feels numb to the awful things he's now doing. See, Jerry acts like a badass mofo rocker, but deep down, I don't think that's really who he is. I think he just went there because at that point in his life he had nothing else. Layne scooped him up when he was at his lowest point, and the rocked the world together. And when the opportunity for said debauchery presented itself, he grabbed it with both hands, even though it might not actually have been something he would have gravitated toward.
Am I that I promise? - I think this is based on his promise to his mother to become famous, make money, buy her a house so that she'd never have to work another day in her life (which she had to do to keep the 4 of them all afloat). But now that she's gone, he is unable to fulfill his promise to her, and he feels guilty about that.
Am I worth the value? - this may be Jerry asking himself if he's worth living at this point, what's the use, everyone he loves has died. He's living this weird lifestyle that he likes, but at the same time he feels kind of guilty about it, because many people might look down upon it, so he wonders if he's even worth being around anymore.
Do my love defile? - Wondering if he'll follow the same path as his father when it comes to women - doing hurtful things to them, breaking their hearts, leaving them behind, acting uncaring. Again, I think Jerry WANTS a long term relationship, but his lifestyle (in his own words) as turned him into a "wolf" where he just goes in for the kill, and then moves on.
Memory, set me free - I think he's reverting back to his memories with his mother because that's when his life was happy, peaceful, and carefree. The memories he had from then take him away from this new world of pain, uncertainty and death.
I don't care no more - he's numb, emotionless, doesn't really care one way or another what happens to him.
Is my soul entire? - he feels as if his soul has been ripped out of him, or broken in pieces. He can't seem to reconcile continuing through his life feeling the way he does, broken.
I've always had a heart for Jerry - he gets deserted by his father, loses the 2 people closest to him at a young age, then gets rescued by the most amazing person he's ever met, only to watch said rescuer die a long, slow, agonizing, self-inflicted death, crushing all of Jerry's dreams and goals in the process, forcing Jerry to do things he never wanted to do, and go forward with a limping band of friends that's never been the same since the rescuer died. WHAT a life he's had.