I just rediscovered this song after over 10 years, and boy does it hit home more than ever for me. I think I’ve constructed a pretty coherent interpretation, although it may have been colored by my own experiences. The way this song speaks to me makes me feel quite a strong conviction that I am at least close however.
“We've seen some change
But we're still outsiders
If everybody's here
Then hell knows
We ride alone”
I believe he is talking to the listeners and rest of the band. “If everybody’s here” listening to the song. As presumed fellow outsiders, he gives something of a motto that “he’ll knows we ride alone”.
“I've seen some years
But you're still my Caesar
With everything I feel
I feel you've already been here”
Talking about a first love that was unrequited or went badly, likely because he was an outsider. It had a traumatizing effect, causing the experience to literally rule his thoughts and outlook much as Caesar did Rome. And we know that Caesar was a ruthless ruler.
“The only difference is all I see is now all that I've seen”
The only difference between the present and past is that he is now living in his memories only. He does not see the present, only what he’s already seen and regretted.
“It's bright on the outside
The bright love, the dark side
I know”
Love is seen as beautiful and glamorous, but the narrator has learned its dark side: regret and rejection.
“It's obvious but sometimes
You just have to say it so
You don't feel so weak
About being such a freak
Or alone”
Self-explanatory. If you don’t remind yourself that love can be dark and hard, you will feel even more lonely and freakish for getting rejected.
“In seventeen years
Will you still be Camille
Lee Miller, Gala or whatever
You know what I mean, yeah”
As others have pointed out, these are famous muses. The singer is wondering if he will still be singing songs about this original failed love (the muse for this song) in 17 years, implying that he is wondering if he will still be alone. I don’t think the number has much significance other than having a convenient number of syllables and being a pretty long time.
“Love'll die
Lovers fade
But you still remain there
Squeezing in your fingers
What it means for me to be, yeah”
Despite relationships since then that come and go, the original trauma is the one that always remains, suffocating his thoughts and self-esteem. In fact, his original traumatic experience with love has probably led to the destruction of all his subsequent attempts at relationships. “What it means for me to be” is quite simply, his life. The trauma is squeezing him, keeping him from moving on with his life.
“The only difference is what might be is now what might have been”
Once again, living in the past. He used to think of what might be, but now he only thinks of what might have been.
“When you saw me sleeping
You thought I was dreaming of you
No, I didn't tell you
That the only dream
Is Valium for me”
Possibly the darkest verse, which makes sense since it leads into a dark sounding bridge. The narrator is so deep in depression that he can’t even think about the girl herself, and instead dreams only of ending his life with an overdose of the Valium pills he presumably was prescribed to deal with his anxiety.
“The only difference
Is what might be is now”
This importantly comes after the dark bridge. I believe the bridge represents fighting through the depression. This final line is the most hopeful of the song. Despite the trauma remaining, the narrator finally recognizes that he must live in the present instead of the past. That is the only way to prevent what might be from again becoming what might have been.
I just rediscovered this song after over 10 years, and boy does it hit home more than ever for me. I think I’ve constructed a pretty coherent interpretation, although it may have been colored by my own experiences. The way this song speaks to me makes me feel quite a strong conviction that I am at least close however.
“We've seen some change But we're still outsiders If everybody's here Then hell knows We ride alone”
I believe he is talking to the listeners and rest of the band. “If everybody’s here” listening to the song. As presumed fellow outsiders, he gives something of a motto that “he’ll knows we ride alone”.
“I've seen some years But you're still my Caesar With everything I feel I feel you've already been here”
Talking about a first love that was unrequited or went badly, likely because he was an outsider. It had a traumatizing effect, causing the experience to literally rule his thoughts and outlook much as Caesar did Rome. And we know that Caesar was a ruthless ruler.
“The only difference is all I see is now all that I've seen”
The only difference between the present and past is that he is now living in his memories only. He does not see the present, only what he’s already seen and regretted.
“It's bright on the outside The bright love, the dark side I know”
Love is seen as beautiful and glamorous, but the narrator has learned its dark side: regret and rejection.
“It's obvious but sometimes You just have to say it so You don't feel so weak About being such a freak Or alone”
Self-explanatory. If you don’t remind yourself that love can be dark and hard, you will feel even more lonely and freakish for getting rejected.
“In seventeen years Will you still be Camille Lee Miller, Gala or whatever You know what I mean, yeah”
As others have pointed out, these are famous muses. The singer is wondering if he will still be singing songs about this original failed love (the muse for this song) in 17 years, implying that he is wondering if he will still be alone. I don’t think the number has much significance other than having a convenient number of syllables and being a pretty long time.
“Love'll die Lovers fade But you still remain there Squeezing in your fingers What it means for me to be, yeah”
Despite relationships since then that come and go, the original trauma is the one that always remains, suffocating his thoughts and self-esteem. In fact, his original traumatic experience with love has probably led to the destruction of all his subsequent attempts at relationships. “What it means for me to be” is quite simply, his life. The trauma is squeezing him, keeping him from moving on with his life.
“The only difference is what might be is now what might have been”
Once again, living in the past. He used to think of what might be, but now he only thinks of what might have been.
“When you saw me sleeping You thought I was dreaming of you No, I didn't tell you That the only dream Is Valium for me”
Possibly the darkest verse, which makes sense since it leads into a dark sounding bridge. The narrator is so deep in depression that he can’t even think about the girl herself, and instead dreams only of ending his life with an overdose of the Valium pills he presumably was prescribed to deal with his anxiety.
“The only difference Is what might be is now”
This importantly comes after the dark bridge. I believe the bridge represents fighting through the depression. This final line is the most hopeful of the song. Despite the trauma remaining, the narrator finally recognizes that he must live in the present instead of the past. That is the only way to prevent what might be from again becoming what might have been.