I think He's referring to the past, and present versions of himself, reflecting on substance abuse, & how its destroyed his current place in time. Hes had to rebuild, & He's telling that damaging nature to fuck off. If he were to get one more fix to let it lift, He would be repeating the same destructive behavior. He wants to destroy the part of himself that has caused everything to crash down around him, but to return is not worth the damage because that part of his life is over.
I think He's referring to the past, and present versions of himself, reflecting on substance abuse, & how its destroyed his current place in time. Hes had to rebuild, & He's telling that damaging nature to fuck off. If he were to get one more fix to let it lift, He would be repeating the same destructive behavior. He wants to destroy the part of himself that has caused everything to crash down around him, but to return is not worth the damage because that part of his life is over.