Everyone in the comments says the song is self explanatory, but it's not. They're thinking it's about simply wanting to be loved, longing for someone, etc... but it's not just that.
Between the lines Gabriel seems to describe something I learned about recently. A psychological issue called attachment style theory, caused by childhood trauma and fear of intimacy as well as fear of abandonment. It's super common but hard to pinpoint as it's very unconscious... I'd never expect to have it yet here I am.
One of the sub-types is about pushing away the ones you love most. It's a self fulfilling prophecy where you long so much to love and be loved, but from these childhood traumas you're also so afraid of being abandoned, and you act in the exact ways that will cause people to abandon you.
When you act on that way, it's your inner child doing it:
I cry the way that babies cry
Saying words you don't really mean (it comes from your psyche and it's an unconscious process:
Words, they climb all over you / Til they uncover you / From where you hide
All this usually leads to a breakup when you didn't really mean for it to happen. Hence you feel abandoned which is the thing you feared most; the process usually repeats itself throughout life over and over, until maybe one day you find out about it and try to break the cycle... Until then this happens over and over:
And in this moment, I need to be needed
When my self-esteem is sinking, I like to be liked
In this emptiness and fear,
I want to be wanted
Cause I love to be loved
I love to be loved [Repeat x2]
Oh I love to be loved
This old familiar craving
I've been here before, this way of behaving
Don't know who the hell I'm saving anymore
Let it pass let it go let it leave
From the deepest place I grieve
This time I believe
And I let go [Repeat x2]
I can let go of it
Though it takes all the strength in me
And all the world can see
I'm losing such a central part of me
I can let go of it
You know I mean it
You know that I mean it
I recognize how much I've lost
But I cannot face the cost
Cause I love to be loved
Everyone in the comments says the song is self explanatory, but it's not. They're thinking it's about simply wanting to be loved, longing for someone, etc... but it's not just that.
Between the lines Gabriel seems to describe something I learned about recently. A psychological issue called attachment style theory, caused by childhood trauma and fear of intimacy as well as fear of abandonment. It's super common but hard to pinpoint as it's very unconscious... I'd never expect to have it yet here I am.
One of the sub-types is about pushing away the ones you love most. It's a self fulfilling prophecy where you long so much to love and be loved, but from these childhood traumas you're also so afraid of being abandoned, and you act in the exact ways that will cause people to abandon you.
When you act on that way, it's your inner child doing it: I cry the way that babies cry
Saying words you don't really mean (it comes from your psyche and it's an unconscious process: Words, they climb all over you / Til they uncover you / From where you hide
All this usually leads to a breakup when you didn't really mean for it to happen. Hence you feel abandoned which is the thing you feared most; the process usually repeats itself throughout life over and over, until maybe one day you find out about it and try to break the cycle... Until then this happens over and over:
And in this moment, I need to be needed When my self-esteem is sinking, I like to be liked In this emptiness and fear, I want to be wanted Cause I love to be loved I love to be loved [Repeat x2] Oh I love to be loved
This old familiar craving I've been here before, this way of behaving Don't know who the hell I'm saving anymore Let it pass let it go let it leave From the deepest place I grieve This time I believe
And I let go [Repeat x2] I can let go of it Though it takes all the strength in me And all the world can see I'm losing such a central part of me I can let go of it You know I mean it You know that I mean it I recognize how much I've lost But I cannot face the cost Cause I love to be loved
Yes I love to be loved I love to be loved