This song is about abandonment issues. Along with first verse implies feeling low or depression. I can deeply relate to lyrics and I'm nor in depression nor feeling low right now. And she's talking about her inner child, saying ''...But something's missing'' ''Whatever it is, it feels like it's laughing at me through the glass of a two-sided mirror'' Her inner child, aka her emotions. The song is already about numbness. Now there was a saying I heard from a spiritual teacher from YouTube that demons are just very extreme mirrors of the inner child. I don't know where she got that idea but this accommadation makes more possible that she's talking about her inner child that is missing.
And she cannot understand her emotions due to her defense machinism occured because of her narcissistic parent/parents.
''I found the one, he changed my life
But was it me that changed
And he just happened to come at the right time
I'm supposed to be in love
But I'm numb again''
She's talking about she caught that being in love feeling with that person so he changed her life (or herself was changed), but can't hang on the emotion because of her up and downs so she's numb again.
If we say her one of or both of her parents is narcissictic, that implies well. Her mother and/or father messed with her reality so badly, with gaslighting (what narcissistics do often) so she reached a level that she doesn't know how to feel. Her parent gets angry at her when she does cry cause she/he doesn't understand her emotions and gets pissed. So she doesn't know how to cry. She feels she doesn't worthy of a relationship because of narcissistic's absent unconditional love, so she doesn't know where to go.
''There's no one to call 'cause I'm just playing games with them all
The more I swear I'm happy, the more that I'm feeling alone''
She can't commit to anybody because of her parent's negative feedback at the very first, so she pretend she's happy in front of “friends”. She doesn't feel that they're her friend so she says ''There's no one to call 'cause I'm just playing games with them all''
She fits traits of borderline and she says ''I just wanna shout''. Borderline gets its name from being always in a border of a nervous breakdown and it seems that way. And it’s more likely to occur when there is a narcissistic in family.
I just created this account to submit this because I felt I should share my thoughts and experiences. Because I can imagine someone who feels deeply related to lyrics but doesn't know why and ended-up looking here. I'm practicing self-love and I can say I’m getting better everyday. If you're going through something like this in your life you must practice self-love. If you google it you will understand. You can carry all the traits of Borderline but still not be a one of them, because this traits is what you get anyway from a narcissistic parent, in my experience. I don't know if I'm or not but it wouldn’t influence me if I am because I’m just trying to understand myself, I’m not trying to put a label on me.
This song is about abandonment issues. Along with first verse implies feeling low or depression. I can deeply relate to lyrics and I'm nor in depression nor feeling low right now. And she's talking about her inner child, saying ''...But something's missing'' ''Whatever it is, it feels like it's laughing at me through the glass of a two-sided mirror'' Her inner child, aka her emotions. The song is already about numbness. Now there was a saying I heard from a spiritual teacher from YouTube that demons are just very extreme mirrors of the inner child. I don't know where she got that idea but this accommadation makes more possible that she's talking about her inner child that is missing. And she cannot understand her emotions due to her defense machinism occured because of her narcissistic parent/parents. ''I found the one, he changed my life But was it me that changed And he just happened to come at the right time I'm supposed to be in love But I'm numb again'' She's talking about she caught that being in love feeling with that person so he changed her life (or herself was changed), but can't hang on the emotion because of her up and downs so she's numb again. If we say her one of or both of her parents is narcissictic, that implies well. Her mother and/or father messed with her reality so badly, with gaslighting (what narcissistics do often) so she reached a level that she doesn't know how to feel. Her parent gets angry at her when she does cry cause she/he doesn't understand her emotions and gets pissed. So she doesn't know how to cry. She feels she doesn't worthy of a relationship because of narcissistic's absent unconditional love, so she doesn't know where to go. ''There's no one to call 'cause I'm just playing games with them all The more I swear I'm happy, the more that I'm feeling alone'' She can't commit to anybody because of her parent's negative feedback at the very first, so she pretend she's happy in front of “friends”. She doesn't feel that they're her friend so she says ''There's no one to call 'cause I'm just playing games with them all'' She fits traits of borderline and she says ''I just wanna shout''. Borderline gets its name from being always in a border of a nervous breakdown and it seems that way. And it’s more likely to occur when there is a narcissistic in family. I just created this account to submit this because I felt I should share my thoughts and experiences. Because I can imagine someone who feels deeply related to lyrics but doesn't know why and ended-up looking here. I'm practicing self-love and I can say I’m getting better everyday. If you're going through something like this in your life you must practice self-love. If you google it you will understand. You can carry all the traits of Borderline but still not be a one of them, because this traits is what you get anyway from a narcissistic parent, in my experience. I don't know if I'm or not but it wouldn’t influence me if I am because I’m just trying to understand myself, I’m not trying to put a label on me.