When I was 12 I remember hitting my 11 yr old brother and my brother hitting me and us being trapped in a spiral of rage. Then I outran him so he couldn't get back at me: I had 'won'. I remember how dead and empty and sad and lonely that victory felt.
I think this song describes those situations in which the inertia of our own humanity sabotages our plans of revenge - the dull resistance to cruel intentions which comes from our inability to switch off our own power of compassion - a kind of brake in our bodies (or hearts) that stops us actually carrying out all the dark fantasies that I can run through "in my mind" (or head).
I am trapped in pain and want to strike back at the person who hurt us: but I can't -'I can't make myself destroy upon command -' because when I try to inflict pain it just ricochets back on me.
As it unfolds, this experience is distressing and frustrating - my agency and rage slips away from me and is replaced by impotence and melancholy - 'forgiveness lets the evil make the laws'.
Yet that ricocheting / backfiring pain that I experience when I try to carry my plans into effect - the hollow dead feeling I remember ending up with with my brother - is just the inverse mode through which love reappears. In my feeling of empathy with my enemy - despite myself - lies the affective kernel of conscience.
While this may paralyse and thwart me in the short term, ultimately it is my capacity for compassion that liberates me from the sterility and futility of hatred and lifts me out of the cycle of violence where there seems to be "no way to stop".
The melancholic beauty of the music perfectly communicates this inextricable tangle of pain and redemption.
@Phil Mush Gee, it sounds like you really know yourself. It’s clear you are a deep thinker. I wonder does your brother think about that incident as deeply as you, and do you two get along today. You mentioned evil but not good. Kinda like you shined a light on evil. Kinda like you gave evil credit. You sound intelligent but it also sounds like you’re snuffing out your faith. And if the same evil is doing that then it’s won another trophy. If I were you I wouldn’t give any evil credit for a a grain of dirt. I’d...
@Phil Mush Gee, it sounds like you really know yourself. It’s clear you are a deep thinker. I wonder does your brother think about that incident as deeply as you, and do you two get along today. You mentioned evil but not good. Kinda like you shined a light on evil. Kinda like you gave evil credit. You sound intelligent but it also sounds like you’re snuffing out your faith. And if the same evil is doing that then it’s won another trophy. If I were you I wouldn’t give any evil credit for a a grain of dirt. I’d turn those thoughts completely around & give credit to goodness. But that’s just me. It’s your call. 😕
When I was 12 I remember hitting my 11 yr old brother and my brother hitting me and us being trapped in a spiral of rage. Then I outran him so he couldn't get back at me: I had 'won'. I remember how dead and empty and sad and lonely that victory felt.
I think this song describes those situations in which the inertia of our own humanity sabotages our plans of revenge - the dull resistance to cruel intentions which comes from our inability to switch off our own power of compassion - a kind of brake in our bodies (or hearts) that stops us actually carrying out all the dark fantasies that I can run through "in my mind" (or head).
I am trapped in pain and want to strike back at the person who hurt us: but I can't -'I can't make myself destroy upon command -' because when I try to inflict pain it just ricochets back on me.
As it unfolds, this experience is distressing and frustrating - my agency and rage slips away from me and is replaced by impotence and melancholy - 'forgiveness lets the evil make the laws'.
Yet that ricocheting / backfiring pain that I experience when I try to carry my plans into effect - the hollow dead feeling I remember ending up with with my brother - is just the inverse mode through which love reappears. In my feeling of empathy with my enemy - despite myself - lies the affective kernel of conscience.
While this may paralyse and thwart me in the short term, ultimately it is my capacity for compassion that liberates me from the sterility and futility of hatred and lifts me out of the cycle of violence where there seems to be "no way to stop".
The melancholic beauty of the music perfectly communicates this inextricable tangle of pain and redemption.
I love this song.
@Phil Mush
@Phil Mush
@Phil Mush Gee, it sounds like you really know yourself. It’s clear you are a deep thinker. I wonder does your brother think about that incident as deeply as you, and do you two get along today. You mentioned evil but not good. Kinda like you shined a light on evil. Kinda like you gave evil credit. You sound intelligent but it also sounds like you’re snuffing out your faith. And if the same evil is doing that then it’s won another trophy. If I were you I wouldn’t give any evil credit for a a grain of dirt. I’d...
@Phil Mush Gee, it sounds like you really know yourself. It’s clear you are a deep thinker. I wonder does your brother think about that incident as deeply as you, and do you two get along today. You mentioned evil but not good. Kinda like you shined a light on evil. Kinda like you gave evil credit. You sound intelligent but it also sounds like you’re snuffing out your faith. And if the same evil is doing that then it’s won another trophy. If I were you I wouldn’t give any evil credit for a a grain of dirt. I’d turn those thoughts completely around & give credit to goodness. But that’s just me. It’s your call. 😕