It's about coping with the suicide of a loved one.
The speaker thinks about whether/that he showed signs that he was suicidal after he "lost control" of his life. They expect to find no comfort from attending the funeral, instead clinging to his last words to them.
"They broke him down" in trying to explain his death. The speaker expects to kill themself soon and be broken down by attendants to their funeral as well, having "bottled inside" and "given up on letting go" of their grief.
The "holy debt" could refer to damnation as punishment for suicide after subscribing to a religion or to being otherwise beholden to "angels" that "just sat there" as he died.
It's about coping with the suicide of a loved one.
The speaker thinks about whether/that he showed signs that he was suicidal after he "lost control" of his life. They expect to find no comfort from attending the funeral, instead clinging to his last words to them.
"They broke him down" in trying to explain his death. The speaker expects to kill themself soon and be broken down by attendants to their funeral as well, having "bottled inside" and "given up on letting go" of their grief.
The "holy debt" could refer to damnation as punishment for suicide after subscribing to a religion or to being otherwise beholden to "angels" that "just sat there" as he died.