This is my personal story and how I can relate to this song.
I'm currently getting over a sort of a breakup. It's not really a breakup, because he was never truly&fully mine. He is still in a relationship with another girl for 11 years now. I wasn't really his affair either, we never had sex.. It was a strong emotional bound that we shared over the last couple of months.
When I met him in June, it was a matter of minutes till I knew that we connected on a higher, very different level. It was an instant realization that he is the one I can see myself with when I'm 80 or at least someone like him - I knew he had a girlfriend. This is how it started: biking together to work in the morning, texting about love, music & life during work hours, stalking each other on spotify, silence in the weekends - when he was with her.
I never hated weekends so much in my whole life, I couldn't wait for Mondays to finally go to work - and see him. I also had a bf at that time, but knowing him made me realize that I'm not happy at all, so I broke up. At that time I didn't even know that he felt the same way for me.
At some point he started to mention that he is confused, that we should stop texting, that he is in love with me. I've never been so happy and sad at the same time. And of course ashamed, he had a girlfriend. It was impossible to stop texting.
In October I had to move to Vienna for my studies and I fell in a huge depression. It was hard for me to leave my friends, the city that I truly love and him. We kept contact although we said we shouldn't/ wouldn't.
Now we were talking about "love" and not just "being in love". Which made everything even worse, knowing he still lives together with his girlfriend. Calls, letters, fights about having to take a decision, lame excuses that it wouldn't be a good time now, sleepless nights, depression and deep sadness followed. I booked a flight back to A. for NYE to celebrate with my friends and of course to see him.
Throughout December we called or Skyped every single day for hours, I was confident that he would finally break up and we can be together. My flight to A. was on a Thursday.
The Tuesday before we had a huge fight after I saw on Instagram that he celebrated Chrismas with her family. It hurt to see that he was playing happy family just 3 days before I was about to come. I told him that he has to decide and I can't do this any longer and that there is never a good timing for breaking up. In February they are celebrating the 11th anniversary, I guess that's not a good timing either.
Next day we Skyped again and he told me that he thinks that he broke up last night.
After so many months of waiting and all this pain that he put me through, thinking that he broke up one day before I was about to arrive was just not enough. He didn't seem to be sure about it - and I felt it.
Next day I landed in A. and he was waiting for me at the airport - to tell me that he got back together with her in the evening.
My heart broke at Schiphol... and this is how I can relate to this song:
Been a fool for weeks
Cause my heart stands for nothing and your soul's too weak.
I gave him my heart, time, patience & understanding and he doesn't have the courage to admit to himself that the love for his girlfriend is just habit after all these years. If he would have really lover her, he would have never done this to her.
Got a will that's been around for days
Goes far if you want it
It needs to behave
I've had this desire to see him for 3 months and it could have happened, but he just decided to block it and push me away again. So know I have to kill my desire, because this is going nowhere. And it kills me.
But then you, you come around
Big mistake
I was a huge mistake and very selfish of him to come to the airport to tell me that. I've never felt so hurt like this before. The moment I saw him, my heart was beating so fast - I thought we finally can be together - and then he took everything away.
Running around 'cause you beat yourself up
And you made a crack and the one that you love is gone
How much longer can you play with fire before you turn into a liar?
He's been involved in this "emotional affair" for months, which is way worse than just having sex with another girl. How much longer can he play with fire, how much longer can he lie to his girlfriend, to me and to himself? And yes, one of the girls he claims to love is now gone.
I don't want to know
We don't need a sign to know better times
I'm still waiting for better times and hope I can make it through the pain he caused me.
This is my personal story and how I can relate to this song.
I'm currently getting over a sort of a breakup. It's not really a breakup, because he was never truly&fully mine. He is still in a relationship with another girl for 11 years now. I wasn't really his affair either, we never had sex.. It was a strong emotional bound that we shared over the last couple of months.
When I met him in June, it was a matter of minutes till I knew that we connected on a higher, very different level. It was an instant realization that he is the one I can see myself with when I'm 80 or at least someone like him - I knew he had a girlfriend. This is how it started: biking together to work in the morning, texting about love, music & life during work hours, stalking each other on spotify, silence in the weekends - when he was with her.
I never hated weekends so much in my whole life, I couldn't wait for Mondays to finally go to work - and see him. I also had a bf at that time, but knowing him made me realize that I'm not happy at all, so I broke up. At that time I didn't even know that he felt the same way for me.
At some point he started to mention that he is confused, that we should stop texting, that he is in love with me. I've never been so happy and sad at the same time. And of course ashamed, he had a girlfriend. It was impossible to stop texting.
In October I had to move to Vienna for my studies and I fell in a huge depression. It was hard for me to leave my friends, the city that I truly love and him. We kept contact although we said we shouldn't/ wouldn't.
Now we were talking about "love" and not just "being in love". Which made everything even worse, knowing he still lives together with his girlfriend. Calls, letters, fights about having to take a decision, lame excuses that it wouldn't be a good time now, sleepless nights, depression and deep sadness followed. I booked a flight back to A. for NYE to celebrate with my friends and of course to see him.
Throughout December we called or Skyped every single day for hours, I was confident that he would finally break up and we can be together. My flight to A. was on a Thursday.
The Tuesday before we had a huge fight after I saw on Instagram that he celebrated Chrismas with her family. It hurt to see that he was playing happy family just 3 days before I was about to come. I told him that he has to decide and I can't do this any longer and that there is never a good timing for breaking up. In February they are celebrating the 11th anniversary, I guess that's not a good timing either.
Next day we Skyped again and he told me that he thinks that he broke up last night. After so many months of waiting and all this pain that he put me through, thinking that he broke up one day before I was about to arrive was just not enough. He didn't seem to be sure about it - and I felt it. Next day I landed in A. and he was waiting for me at the airport - to tell me that he got back together with her in the evening. My heart broke at Schiphol... and this is how I can relate to this song:
Been a fool for weeks Cause my heart stands for nothing and your soul's too weak.
I gave him my heart, time, patience & understanding and he doesn't have the courage to admit to himself that the love for his girlfriend is just habit after all these years. If he would have really lover her, he would have never done this to her.
Got a will that's been around for days Goes far if you want it It needs to behave
I've had this desire to see him for 3 months and it could have happened, but he just decided to block it and push me away again. So know I have to kill my desire, because this is going nowhere. And it kills me.
But then you, you come around Big mistake
I was a huge mistake and very selfish of him to come to the airport to tell me that. I've never felt so hurt like this before. The moment I saw him, my heart was beating so fast - I thought we finally can be together - and then he took everything away.
Running around 'cause you beat yourself up And you made a crack and the one that you love is gone How much longer can you play with fire before you turn into a liar?
He's been involved in this "emotional affair" for months, which is way worse than just having sex with another girl. How much longer can he play with fire, how much longer can he lie to his girlfriend, to me and to himself? And yes, one of the girls he claims to love is now gone.
I don't want to know We don't need a sign to know better times
I'm still waiting for better times and hope I can make it through the pain he caused me.