I've yet to find any song that captures the effects of crippling social anxiety as well as this one. It's about feeling like you don't belong no matter what you do, and the unbearable pain of actively trying so hard just to be "normal" - something that comes easy to everyone else, especially when the people you encounter on a regular basis constantly feel the need to remind you that you're not normal. This is done with stares, social exclusion, talking behind people's backs, etc. When you have to deal with these things, living life to the fullest is impossible, because simply leaving your house can be terrifying:
Can almost stand competing with the others
Can almost hear the fun that I should be having
Instead of all this dreaming
Few things are worse than feeling afraid to be happy and live your life because of other people's reactions. You can be having a good day where things are going well, and all it takes is one snide remark from a stranger or someone staring too long to send it all crashing down. A lot of Kevin's music takes on similar subject matter (Desire Be Desire Go, Why Won't They Talk to Me?, Solitude is Bliss, etc.) but this song just captures social anxiety perfectly. The chorus is especially crippling:
I just don't know how to fell right...
I'm playing the part of somebody else
While trying so hard to be myself
The narrator is trying desperately to fit in and avoid being made to feel like an outcast, but is also terrified of losing the things that make him/her unique. This can be an incredibly difficult struggle, since no one wants to feel like they're being constantly judged/scrutinized by others, but at the same time you don't want to give in completely to conformity and lose your identity. Anyone who has dealt with anxiety and/or depression can probably relate to this feeling. This song leads into the album's next track, Why Won't They Talk to Me?, perfectly. While that track is more direct, this one approaches the same subject matter with more subtlety and depth. It's also much sadder, and you can really hear the panic and despair in Kevin's voice. "I just don't know how to feel right"
I've yet to find any song that captures the effects of crippling social anxiety as well as this one. It's about feeling like you don't belong no matter what you do, and the unbearable pain of actively trying so hard just to be "normal" - something that comes easy to everyone else, especially when the people you encounter on a regular basis constantly feel the need to remind you that you're not normal. This is done with stares, social exclusion, talking behind people's backs, etc. When you have to deal with these things, living life to the fullest is impossible, because simply leaving your house can be terrifying:
Can almost stand competing with the others Can almost hear the fun that I should be having Instead of all this dreaming
Few things are worse than feeling afraid to be happy and live your life because of other people's reactions. You can be having a good day where things are going well, and all it takes is one snide remark from a stranger or someone staring too long to send it all crashing down. A lot of Kevin's music takes on similar subject matter (Desire Be Desire Go, Why Won't They Talk to Me?, Solitude is Bliss, etc.) but this song just captures social anxiety perfectly. The chorus is especially crippling:
I just don't know how to fell right...
I'm playing the part of somebody else While trying so hard to be myself
The narrator is trying desperately to fit in and avoid being made to feel like an outcast, but is also terrified of losing the things that make him/her unique. This can be an incredibly difficult struggle, since no one wants to feel like they're being constantly judged/scrutinized by others, but at the same time you don't want to give in completely to conformity and lose your identity. Anyone who has dealt with anxiety and/or depression can probably relate to this feeling. This song leads into the album's next track, Why Won't They Talk to Me?, perfectly. While that track is more direct, this one approaches the same subject matter with more subtlety and depth. It's also much sadder, and you can really hear the panic and despair in Kevin's voice. "I just don't know how to feel right"