Being in love with a transgender woman has changed my entire view of this song.
I couldn't have met a more perfect person inside and out...I truly believe it was fate. I wish we had met when we were younger so we wouldn't have had to go through so much pain and doubt and self-hate to get to this point.
Though our struggles are obviously different...we understand each other on a real level, one I've never experienced with anybody else...she met me while I was in at the end of my rope with my eating disorder and broken self-image. I hated myself. I looked in the mirror and saw a different person than who I was inside. I couldn't reach her anymore. Since I was 13 I had felt that invasive, constant sense of wrongness.
That's where we connected.
We've gone through nights when one or both of us couldn't bear to be touched. The total vulnerability scared the fuck out of me. To have someone who wanted to be close and who knew the true me yet understood when even that wasn't enough to break down the barrier and let myself go...that she knew how it felt...and was willing to hold me anyway through the anxiety. Who didn't get angry when I wasn't "present" in the moment and had to put on the brakes.
We've been through mornings where one or both of us couldn't leave the house without changing outfits ten times and spinning the mirror more than that. Some are worse than others...sometimes I'm at a loss as to how to help her, or vice versa...sometimes all you can do is be there...
When we look into each others' eyes at night it seems to fall away for a second and I'd give anything, suffer everything, just to have those moments forever.
We'll be getting married this year. I couldn't imagine being with anybody else. I'm still shocked every other day that we have each other and met so suddenly...(we met online, when I had, by pure chance and boredom, checked my messages on a dating site I hadn't been on in two years!). Like the stars were aligned. We tell people we met at Kmart or prison lmao.
Anyways...the meaning is clear to me now. Even if it means something different for Gaga or for others, it'll always be my song to her. When she can't get through another moment feeling wrong, when she asks why she can't simply be normal, why she was born with the wrong DNA, the wrong chromosomes, with her brain and her body not matching like they were supposed to...when she asks if I see her as a girl, if she's pretty, if I'll ever get sick of her and want a "real" woman...I listen to this song and want her to know she's ok. She's my girl and I'm her G.U.Y. lol...even though I'm a girl too, I often feel like the "man" in the relationship and I wouldn't want it any other way. I want to protect her the way she protects me from my own mind and my own body dysphoria.
Our struggles manifest in different ways but our souls are cut from the same cloth. We were dealt shitty cards. But we'll continue playing the game til we come out on top.
Being in love with a transgender woman has changed my entire view of this song.
I couldn't have met a more perfect person inside and out...I truly believe it was fate. I wish we had met when we were younger so we wouldn't have had to go through so much pain and doubt and self-hate to get to this point.
Though our struggles are obviously different...we understand each other on a real level, one I've never experienced with anybody else...she met me while I was in at the end of my rope with my eating disorder and broken self-image. I hated myself. I looked in the mirror and saw a different person than who I was inside. I couldn't reach her anymore. Since I was 13 I had felt that invasive, constant sense of wrongness.
That's where we connected.
We've gone through nights when one or both of us couldn't bear to be touched. The total vulnerability scared the fuck out of me. To have someone who wanted to be close and who knew the true me yet understood when even that wasn't enough to break down the barrier and let myself go...that she knew how it felt...and was willing to hold me anyway through the anxiety. Who didn't get angry when I wasn't "present" in the moment and had to put on the brakes.
We've been through mornings where one or both of us couldn't leave the house without changing outfits ten times and spinning the mirror more than that. Some are worse than others...sometimes I'm at a loss as to how to help her, or vice versa...sometimes all you can do is be there...
When we look into each others' eyes at night it seems to fall away for a second and I'd give anything, suffer everything, just to have those moments forever.
We'll be getting married this year. I couldn't imagine being with anybody else. I'm still shocked every other day that we have each other and met so suddenly...(we met online, when I had, by pure chance and boredom, checked my messages on a dating site I hadn't been on in two years!). Like the stars were aligned. We tell people we met at Kmart or prison lmao.
Anyways...the meaning is clear to me now. Even if it means something different for Gaga or for others, it'll always be my song to her. When she can't get through another moment feeling wrong, when she asks why she can't simply be normal, why she was born with the wrong DNA, the wrong chromosomes, with her brain and her body not matching like they were supposed to...when she asks if I see her as a girl, if she's pretty, if I'll ever get sick of her and want a "real" woman...I listen to this song and want her to know she's ok. She's my girl and I'm her G.U.Y. lol...even though I'm a girl too, I often feel like the "man" in the relationship and I wouldn't want it any other way. I want to protect her the way she protects me from my own mind and my own body dysphoria.
Our struggles manifest in different ways but our souls are cut from the same cloth. We were dealt shitty cards. But we'll continue playing the game til we come out on top.
Preferably with me on top of her ;)
Thanks for reading.