The author is talking about only ever wanting to accomplish one thing, which would put him "on top of the world", but he finds that to accomplish that, he's sacrificed the attention of someone important, and that his achievement has paradoxically left him having to reorient his goals; this time, unfortunately, without the presence/attentions of this special person.
The author is talking about only ever wanting to accomplish one thing, which would put him "on top of the world", but he finds that to accomplish that, he's sacrificed the attention of someone important, and that his achievement has paradoxically left him having to reorient his goals; this time, unfortunately, without the presence/attentions of this special person.