The narrator was content for a time to be free of values, weighed down by nothing and unconcerned with morality. It's easy to not have to worry about doing the right thing. But he doesn't seem to truly believe what he's saying. It seems more like he tried to dismiss his aimlessness and unhappiness by convincing himself those things he lacks are meaningless or simply don't exist. He starts to recognize that denying his needs doesn't make them go away. No matter how educated and well-read you are, you can't just talk yourself out of feeling empty and alone. In the end, he accepts that believing in nothing didn't make him happy. He wants something to believe in, so he's searching for meaning again.
The narrator was content for a time to be free of values, weighed down by nothing and unconcerned with morality. It's easy to not have to worry about doing the right thing. But he doesn't seem to truly believe what he's saying. It seems more like he tried to dismiss his aimlessness and unhappiness by convincing himself those things he lacks are meaningless or simply don't exist. He starts to recognize that denying his needs doesn't make them go away. No matter how educated and well-read you are, you can't just talk yourself out of feeling empty and alone. In the end, he accepts that believing in nothing didn't make him happy. He wants something to believe in, so he's searching for meaning again.